Congratulations on your new family journey! The excitement of a wedding and setting up rooms for the kids slowly gives way to the complexities of blending families. Suddenly, you’re faced with a new set of…
Relationships often resemble gardensārequiring care, nurturing, and attention to thrive. Recently, as I’ve spent more time with those dear to me, I’ve reflected on the factors that genuinely nurture our bonds. These insights, almost like…
This post explores how infidelity affects both mind and body, with practical strategies for managing trauma responses. For a broader understanding of emotional affairs and recovery, see our introduction to affair recovery. The discovery of…
Originally published January 28, 2020; Updated 12/20/2023 Navigating a neurodivergent marriage presents intricate challenges, confounding even the most skilled couples therapists. During a high-level training seminar for therapists some years back, a case was presented…
Have you ever felt like your partner just doesn’t “get” your emotions? Or struggled to understand why they react so differently to stressful situations? These disconnects may point to an underlying “meta-emotional mismatch”āa term coined…
Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how couples handle the aftermath determines whether the relationship grows stronger or deteriorates. According to the Gottman Institute, a leading authority on marriage and relationships, the period following…
Managing finances is a critical aspect of any relationship, and the decision to pool resources or keep them separate can have a significant impact on a couple’s happiness and stability. In their study “Common Cents:…
Revised 1/26/21 Imagine the possibility of falling in love with a complete stranger in just 45 minutes. Sounds improbable, right? Well, according to the intriguing research conducted by psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron, it’s not…
This post was recently featured on a podcast episode of Optimal Living Daily. Listen now! In intimate relationships, the first few words of a conversation or conflict can set the tone for what follows. In…
I need to tell my husband something really awkward and kind of embarrassing, I am worried about how he will respond. Iām too embarrassed to even write the details here so can you just tell…
Revised 3/25/24 In this series of posts, we’ll explore the fascinating world of attachment-based couples therapy and how it can help couples strengthen their emotional connections and improve their relationships. We’ll begin by discussing the…
Today, we asked Dr. K what the difference is between narcissism and covert narcissism. Can either be helped with couples therapy? There has been a lot of discussion about narcissism and covert (or vulnerable) narcissism…
by Dr. Eliane Herdani Infidelity is the act of being unfaithful in a committed relationship. The long-term psychological effects of infidelity compare to those of many other traumas. In this post, we will look at…
This post is for anyone who has made themselves deeply vulnerable in a relationship and was shamed in return. I know it hurts. I know it felt horrible. But I salute you. I honor you….
On a marvelous summer’s day, as a couple was driving to see me, they drove past a sheep in a meadow. Barbara tried to make a Gottman “Bid for Connection” with her husband, John. She…
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