Intimacy is more than sex — and also, it’s not less. This section dives into attachment, emotional, physical, and sexual connection between partners. Whether you’re longing for closeness, struggling with desire, or rekindling affection, we offer tools and insight to help you find each other again — with more ease, courage, and delight.
There’s a thing that happens in our training, somewhere between the first practicum and the first real caseload, where we quietly begin to believe that the knowledge is protective. That if we understand attachment theory…
They were walking upstairs together. It was an ordinary evening — nothing special, nothing tense. She turned to him and asked a simple question: “What was your favorite movie as a child?” He stopped. Looked…
Different Sex Drives in Marriage, for most couples, reminds me of this joke: Two guys are walking out of a restaurant, and one turns to the other, and in a complaining voice says: “The food…
Dear Dr. K, I love my girlfriend and don’t want to hurt her, but she keeps telling me to be “rougher” in bed. When I try, she either gets mad… or laughs. What am I…
Dear Dr. K, My husband and I have sex regularly, but our sex life is very one-sided. For me, sexual intimacy starts with feeling loving toward my husband. For my husband, a good sex life…
Marriage is a complex and beautiful relationship that thrives on many forms of connection. While emotional bonds, shared values, and mutual respect form the foundation, physical intimacy plays a unique and vital role in creating…
After thirty years of working with couples facing intimacy challenges, I’ve observed one consistent pattern: couples who can’t talk openly about sex often struggle with their intimate relationships. When couples don’t talk about sex explicitly,…
I reader wanted me to know that she was in a sexless marriage and “I do not love my husband.” My answer might surprise some. I would not ask you if you love your husband…
My husband is attractive and likes attention from other women. All nonverbal attention. Nothing physical occurs that I’m aware of. It feels to me that he builds relationships with them by meeting them at the…
Our closest relationships have the power to hurt us deeply – but they also offer profound opportunities for healing. According to psychologist Stan Tatkin’s PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) theory, the wounds we carry…
This is the second in a five-part series on Sexual Styles. Here is Part One exploring the depth of sexual arousal. Have you ever been so entirely absorbed in a sexual experience that the rest…
Introduction: Have you ever wondered why you tend to repeat certain patterns in your relationships? The answer may lie in your earliest bonds with your caregivers. Recent psychology research is shedding light on how the…
When it comes to human sexuality, there’s more than meets the eye. Beyond the physical aspects of arousal and orgasm lies a complex tapestry of emotional, psychological, and interpersonal factors that shape our sexual experiences….
Imagine the frustration and confusion of struggling to reach orgasm during sex despite having a rock-hard erection. For men with delayed ejaculation (DE), this is a reality that can strain relationships and erode self-esteem. But…
In this post, we’ll delve into the intricate dynamics of the Secure and Avoidant attachment combination. We’ll discuss the push-pull pattern, emotional swings, and deep-seated fears that characterize this combination and how they impact the…
In this post, we’ll discuss the dynamics of the Secure and Avoidant attachment combination. We’ll compare and contrast this combination with the Secure-Secure partnership and explore how the Secure partner can support and reassure their…
This post explores how infidelity affects both mind and body, with practical strategies for managing trauma responses. For a broader understanding of emotional affairs and recovery, see our introduction to affair recovery. The discovery of…
Revised 3/25/24 In this series of posts, we’ll explore the fascinating world of attachment-based couples therapy and how it can help couples strengthen their emotional connections and improve their relationships. We’ll begin by discussing the…
This post is for anyone who has made themselves deeply vulnerable in a relationship and was shamed in return. I know it hurts. I know it felt horrible. But I salute you. I honor you….
On a marvelous summer’s day, as a couple was driving to see me, they drove past a sheep in a meadow. Barbara tried to make a Gottman “Bid for Connection” with her husband, John. She…
You’ve just come home from an upsetting workplace interaction with your boss where you felt disrespected, invalidated, and emotionally abused. You are looking for an emotional connection. You want your husband to pay attention to…
The frequency of sexual activity in marriage varies a lot from couple to couple. There is no definitive answer to how often a married couples should have sex, as individual circumstances, preferences, and relationship dynamics…
We all know the heartache of being apart from the one we love. But could that yearning to reunite actually be critical to forming an enduring bond? A groundbreaking new study suggests that how our…
A reader asked: What is a misconception that people have about sex therapists? The biggest one is that there is a lot of hot, sexy talk in a sex therapist’s office. The truth is that…
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