Bring Back Your Romance

Intensive Relationship Counseling Retreats & Online Marriage Counseling:
Faster, More Effective Help.

We're experts at enhancing INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS.

"'We have done a lot of reading on your website and feel comfortable scheduling an appointment...'  That's our typical client....Prepared, researched and ready."

Ted, Operations Manager

Couples Therapy from a science-based approach

With therapists across the USA, and in Ireland, South Africa & Australia, too.

Learn the science behind intimate bonds:

Forty years of research studying real marriages teaches that marriages die by 'fire' or 'ice'.  'Fiery' marriages divorce early. 'Icy' ones live longer without passion, or excitement.


Learn More.


Here's why our approach is so different:

We use a unique tool called "The BIG BIG Book." It's your personal love story that we analyze. Learning a lot about you before we start, means more effective use of face-to-face time.


Learn More. 

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Here's how our therapists are different:

Our 24 Team members have a remarkable 558 years of combined experience. We know how to help couples!  Some have more experience than others, but all of us have science-based training.

 

Learn More.


 ​Seek Out Qualified Help.

Research has demonstrated that a science approach in Couples Therapy is 70-90% effective in helping relationships. These retreats equal almost 6 months of conventional therapy. Begin with a weekend. Follow up online or continue with your local therapist. We provide the "jump start" you need for focused, effective work. Ways to meet? You come to us. We meet online. Or we even come to you with our team of  "Fly Me" therapists.  

Learn What a Difference Skilled Couples Therapy Help Can Make.

More than half of our couples travel 1000+ miles to see the specialist of their choice.


Here's three reasons why:

1


THE PAINFUL TRUTH about couples therapy

Were you a "marriage counseling drop-out?" You aren't alone. While 80% of practicing therapists claim to do couples therapy, few have adequate training in this tricky modality. Were you squeezed into a 45-60 minute "individual block?" That's too short a time to be effective. It's a waste of your time and money. Couples end up blaming their relationship and not the therapist! Find someone highly qualified.

You can do it better. Together.


Learn more.

Woman on a building ledge grabbing at money

2


CAN A SINGLE WEEKEND of Relationship counseling REALLY HELP?

Remarkably, yes, it can. It provides a foundation for real ongoing change. Bring us your most distressing problems. Happier couples attend, too, for a tune up. You'll learn how to change around marital unhappiness to team collaboration. "Hopeless" to "Hopeful." All in a single science-based weekend.


Almost ready to leave the marriage? Read about Last Shot Couples Therapy & Discernment Counseling.

3


we selectively choose our couples therapists. 

Some therapist practices are groups of people who share an office and admin. We're different. We're a clinical team, hand-picked by Dr. K from across the globe. She's combed 1000's of resumes to find them. Our therapists need the right skill-set in the Gottman Method or Emotionally Focused Therapy, a collaborative spirit, and a passion to grow the field of couples therapy. Stretching over 19 time zones and collectively speaking 9 languages and 300 years of doing clinical training, we grow our skills together.

Are you a therapist who is passionate about helping intimate relationships?  We're hiring in Minnesota and Colorado 2018!  Contact us.

LIVESTRONG.COM


"[Couples Therapy Inc.] is serious business - no margaritas, group sessions or yoga classes... a science-based intensive one-on-one retreat addressing your relationship issues head on with a skilled doctoral or masters-level couples therapist."


Close as Your Laptop or a Weekend Get-Away.

We make healing your heart convenient.

Your marital happiness depends upon choosing the best couples therapy available. But convenience is also important. Weekly sessions aren't in-depth enough for many couples. Intensive, science-based help combines six months of therapy in less than 3 days. And at 70-90% scientifically proven effective, it's perfect for busy couples.

You Have One Life.

Live it with love. Passionately, madly, forgivingly together. Bonded in history. Heading happily into the future. Really. It's not a dream.

We make it all very doable. Take skilled clinician and add a touch of bravery.

Our Couples Therapists change "disasters" into "masters" of marriage.

Our couples therapy work is not suitable for every couple, however. Can we help you? Give us a call to find out. And read more about our team's remarkable set of credentials and achievements, and our award-winning blog. Listen to what our current clients have to say about our science-based work helping couples in psychotherapy. Or simply call us and say: "Tell me more." Our Intake Coordinator Daniel is standing by. Arrange a consult. And it's okay to mix business and pleasure, too. We make that easy, as well. Plan an exotic adventure like a safari in South Africa, surfing in Australia, or fly fishing in Montana. We can help you make that happen...and improve your love life in the bargain.

One weekend. A lifetime of team work.

"Using my husband's words:  'This weekend helped us more than 3 years of couples therapy did!'" - Recent Intensive Client

Is It Time To Improve Your Relationship?
Are You Ready?


You can begin your journey by starting Here.

How do I Find the Right Couples Counseling Near Me?

We know that looking for a relationship counselor can feel like a huge task. If you're feeling overwhelmed about ever being able to get closer, we can help.  Our marriage and family therapists, psychologists, social workers and other mental health professionals have invested long-term in your wellbeing by being some of the most highly skilled couples therapy professionals available today.


Recognize that couples counseling is an evolving field, but we've come a lot farther in helping couples than popular media likes to portray.


Take a look at this clip of the therapy scene in the movie Couples Retreat between Ronnie and David:

It's funny to a couples therapist, and hysterical to the general public because we recognize the truth in the depiction. Horrifically, however, most viewers actually believe that some slightly less dramatic version of this scene constitutes what "couples therapy" looks like, especially in a couples retreat. 


Let's take it apart:


The therapist opens up the session by asking a general question: "So how was your night?" ignoring the obvious tension in the room. Ronnie, the wife, then goes into a 20-second "polite assault" on her husband. She's contemptuous talking about her husband being in "a very traumatic shark situation..." (To which her husband responds "Here we go...") She only indirectly talks about her disappointment in not having the "romantic evening" she was hoping for, but then falls back into contempt: "but somehow this crazy, traumatic shark experience was enough to make him neglect his wife."


Instead of stopping this display of contempt, John Michael Higgins, who plays Therapist #1 surprises the audience by saying:


     Therapist #1:  "Ronnie, nice to meet you!"


...with obvious admiration for her candor. She looks surprised. She knew she was being snarky but the therapist welcomed it!


And as if to add insult to injury, he turns to David and asks: "How did that make you feel?"


Contempt? 


How did contempt make him feel? How does he think contempt makes David feel?


Like it makes EVERYONE feel. 


  • Horrible. 
  • Defensive.
  • Misunderstood.
  • Trivialized.
  • Spoken down to.
  • Humiliated.
  • Exposed.
  • Disrespected. 


Just look at the look on his face. He's not even expecting the therapist to come to his defense, and in that, his expectations are fully realized. 


In a movie comedy, we laugh along, because we recognize ourselves in the scene. But in REAL LIVE couples therapy, we stop the action when a spouse starts talking with contempt.


  • We teach them what contempt is
  • Why it's like "throwing acid on love" to quote Dr. Gottman
  • ...and we get them to talk about their own hurt and reality.  


In this case, it's about Ronnie's profound disappointment at looking forward to a romantic evening, how those hopes got dashed, and how hurt, angry, and neglected she feels. And we teach her how to tell David that in a way that doesn't leave him feeling attacked and horrible.


David's response was to justify his reality, which was being directly challenged (and the attack was approved of by the therapist).


He said, defensively: 


     David: "I know my truth."


Why did he say that?


Because his sanity was questioned by both his wife AND the therapist. 


Nasty.


Later, (in 1:52 of the clip) we see a fight between Joey and Lucy.  We assume its about intimacy because they both act so sexually wanton toward other people in the movie. Lucy got pregnant with Joey's baby in high school. Neither feels desired by the other now:

play


Joey: "So now it's my fault that you don't feel satisfied."


Lucy: "Everything is MY fault? Is that what you're saying?


 Joey: "I'm not saying that..."


Lucy:  "You don't look at me. You don't EVER ask me how I am..."


Joey:  "...You haven't LOOKED at me in 10 years..."


Lucy:  (defensively) "...I'm crazy and everything is my fault and my family is awful (Joey nodes in agreement...) and nothing (waving her hands) at all is your fault...'cause you rock, Joey..."


     Joey now is hostile and escalated. He implicitly threatens violence.


Joey:  "If a guy talked to me like that, I'd punch him in the face..."


Lucy:  "Ohhhh...(chopping the pillow with her hand) You're such an a**hole!!!!"


Joey:  "You're an a**hole!!!!


And we see a shot of the therapist looking puzzled with her head cocked to the side. She looks slightly bemused as she writes a note down in her pad.


Again, if you believe this is what a couples retreat really looks like, no wonder we'd all want to stay away.


What Real Couples Therapy Looks Like


In our blog, we spend a great deal of time talking about how necessary fights are between couples, and how you can learn to improve a fight like this. 


  • We teach how the physiology of a fight raises blood pressure, narrows vision, contracts your ear canals, and frankly makes you stupider.
  • We teach how to stop the conversation when it degenerates in this way, and how to identify your physiology (and your partners...) when it does.
  • We teach you what it means to be "critical" and why it's a useless way of conducting yourself in a fight.
  • And why defensiveness ("So now it's my fault that you don't feel satisfied...") escalates a situation and is often provoked by a harsh start-up.


This is REAL couples therapy, with over 40 years of research, studying real couples in actual fights. Measuring their bodily reactions as they fight. Following them over as much as 20 years and noticing how these communication patterns either enhance or destroy their intimacy. Then teaching you how to talk so your partner will listen.


Science-based couples therapy.
It's not as comical as in the movie "Couples Retreat" but it's proven effective.


Read more: A Fight About Nothing



HEADQUARTERS

Couples Therapy Inc.
351 Pleasant Street #225
Northampton, MA 01060
Tel: Toll Free:  
844-926-8753
International Callers:  
+1 212-519-7523

Copyright 2018, Couples Therapy Inc.