Because love isn’t blind—it’s brave enough to look.
So you’re thinking about forever. Maybe there’s a ring. Maybe just a shared Netflix account and a lot of hope. Either way, you’re wondering: Is this the person I want to build a life with?
These aren’t Cosmo-style quiz questions. This is the real stuff—the kind of honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations that strong relationships are built on.
Ask these together. Take your time. Be brave.
- Do we bring out the best in each other?
A good partner doesn’t just make you feel loved—they make you feel like your favorite version of yourself. Do you like who you are with them? - Can we talk about hard things without tearing each other down?
Every couple fights. What matters is how. Is there respect underneath your disagreements—or does it get cruel, silent, or scary? - Do I feel safe being fully myself?
Can you cry in front of them? Share doubts, fears, weird ideas, ugly moods? If not, why not? - Are we equals?
Power shows up in subtle ways. Who decides how money is spent? Who compromises more? If one person always holds the reins, resentment’s already in the passenger seat. - Do we handle stress like a team—or like opponents?
Life throws curveballs. Illness. Job loss. That one uncle who ruins Thanksgiving. Do you face problems side by side or turn on each other? - Do we respect each other’s dreams and differences?
You don’t have to want the same things. But if one person’s ambitions always shrink to make room for the other’s, it’s not love—it’s erasure. - Can we stay connected when things get boring?
Passion fades and flares. What’s left when life is just laundry, bills, and Tuesday nights? Do you still like each other when there’s nothing exciting going on? - Do our values line up where it counts?
Parenting. Politics. Faith. Money. These aren’t “agree to disagree” topics if you want a long-haul marriage. Alignment matters—or at least respectful understanding. - Can we be honest about sex?
Desire changes. Needs shift. Bodies age. Can you talk openly about what you want (and don’t want)? Can you hear each other without shame? - Is there trust? Not just the absence of betrayal—but active, earned trust?
Would you hand over your phone? Your bank login? Your secrets? Do you believe they’ve got your back when you’re not in the room? - Are we growing in the same direction?
Stagnation kills love. Do you see a future where you’re both still evolving—individually and together? - Do we laugh—often, and easily?
Laughter is intimacy’s shortcut. Can you goof off together? Make each other snort at dumb jokes? Life’s too short for a partner who doesn’t make you laugh. - Have we named and addressed our red flags—or just swept them under the rug?
Jealousy. Control. Rage. Addiction. If you already know something’s off, it won’t magically fix itself after “I do.” Name it now. Deal with it—or walk away. - Are we both emotionally stable and willing to work on our stuff?
You don’t need perfect mental health. But if one or both of you regularly explodes, shuts down, blames, or avoids—that’s not just “how relationships are.” That’s a flashing neon sign. - Can we picture growing old together—and still liking what we see?
Close your eyes. Imagine your partner at 70. Imagine yourself. Does it feel peaceful? Exciting? Safe? If you flinch or draw a blank, that’s worth exploring.
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Final thought:
Love isn’t enough. Marriage asks more. It asks for honesty, humility, humor, and a willingness to keep learning. If you can face these questions—especially the hard ones—you’re not just preparing for a wedding. You’re building a foundation for something real.
