Revised 1/26/21 Imagine the possibility of falling in love with a complete stranger in just 45 minutes. Sounds improbable, right? Well, according to the intriguing research conducted by psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron, it’s not…
This post was recently featured on a podcast episode of Optimal Living Daily. Listen now! In intimate relationships, the first few words of a conversation or conflict can set the tone for what follows. In…
I need to tell my husband something really awkward and kind of embarrassing, I am worried about how he will respond. I’m too embarrassed to even write the details here so can you just tell…
Revised 3/25/24 In this series of posts, we’ll explore the fascinating world of attachment-based couples therapy and how it can help couples strengthen their emotional connections and improve their relationships. We’ll begin by discussing the…
Today, we asked Dr. K what the difference is between narcissism and covert narcissism. Can either be helped with couples therapy? There has been a lot of discussion about narcissism and covert (or vulnerable) narcissism…
by Dr. Eliane Herdani Infidelity is the act of being unfaithful in a committed relationship. The long-term psychological effects of infidelity compare to those of many other traumas. In this post, we will look at…
This post is for anyone who has made themselves deeply vulnerable in a relationship and was shamed in return. I know it hurts. I know it felt horrible. But I salute you. I honor you….
On a marvelous summer’s day, as a couple was driving to see me, they drove past a sheep in a meadow. Barbara tried to make a Gottman “Bid for Connection” with her husband, John. She…
As Ken and Carla arrived at the airport for their long-awaited 10-day trip to Spain, tensions were already high. The couple had hit traffic on the way, and Ken implied that if they had left…
My husband gets angry if I disagree with him. He argues with me about every point I try to make and refuses to listen. I want a happy marriage and to stay calm. However, if…
Discovering that your husband has had an affair is a devastating betrayal. In the aftermath, it’s natural to wonder if he still has feelings for the other woman and whether your marriage can survive. While…
You’ve just come home from an upsetting workplace interaction with your boss where you felt disrespected, invalidated, and emotionally abused. You are looking for an emotional connection. You want your husband to pay attention to…
The frequency of sexual activity in marriage varies a lot from couple to couple. There is no definitive answer to how often a married couples should have sex, as individual circumstances, preferences, and relationship dynamics…
In the intricate dance of marriage, emotions run deep and complex, with envy and jealousy often taking unexpected turns on the dance floor. While we readily acknowledge the presence of love, joy, and companionship in…
(when you don’t feel as if you deserve it…) Loving yourself is an ongoing challenging process for a lot of us. It involves nurturing a positive relationship with yourself, accepting who you are, and prioritizing…
We’ve all been there – a partner shares something upsetting, and we react in a way that leaves them feeling dismissed, judged, or misunderstood. It’s a common misstep, but an incredibly damaging one. Invalidating a…
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation. It occurs when one person attempts to make the other doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity. It is destructive behavior that undermines the partner’s confidence and can…
It started as a fairytale romance – your soulmate swept you off your feet with grand gestures, passionate kisses, and promises of a perfect future together. But slowly, the cracks began to show. Charming apologies…
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can occur in relationships, where one person uses manipulative tactics to undermine the other person’s perception, memory, or sanity. This type of behavior can be subtle and…
An earlier version of this post was recently featured on a podcast episode of Optimal Living Daily.Listen now! I’m married and having an affair. Can my marriage survive infidelity? Yes, couples can recover from an…
There are a lot of myths about marriage, and some of them do real harm—especially the idea that couples therapy is just a long, vague process with no clear goals or results. That’s simply not…
Antidepressants aren’t the only answer—especially when your relationship is part of the pain. Around 16% of people in the US experience depression at some point in their life cycle. About 7% of Americans at any…
Learning to fight well and repair relationship conflicts before they spiral out of control is a skill. It’s one of the goals of science-based couples therapy. Do you find your fights escalating out of control?…
You built a life together. You raised kids, managed chaos, endured loss, and celebrated milestones. And now… things feel strangely empty. You’re not fighting. But you’re not connecting, either. You’re coexisting in a shared quiet,…
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