The Hardest Part of Being a Therapist
I was recently asked what the hardest part of being a couples therapist was. The hardest part of being a couples therapist is to face two people who want to divorce, but to believe sincerely…
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17 Critical Ways Couples Can Manage a Neurodivergent Meltdown
Understanding and navigating the complexities of neurodiversity within relationships can be both challenging and rewarding. For neurotypical individuals partnered with neurodivergent spouses, comprehending and supporting their unique experiences, especially during meltdowns, is crucial for fostering…
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Emergency Marriage Counseling: Last Shot Therapy For Couples
Your Relationship Is in the ER. We’re the Critical Care Team. That sick feeling in your stomach? The panicked thoughts? The tears that won’t stop? This isn’t “just a rough patch.” It’s a full-blown relationship…
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Online Premarital Counseling
Love may be blind—but you don’t have to be. Engagement is thrilling. Hopeful. Wildly romantic. But if you want a resilient, connected marriage—one that lasts long after the champagne’s gone—you’ll need more than butterflies. Our…
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Stages of Affair Recovery: A Gottman Approach
This post outlines Dr. John Gottman’s three-stage model for helping couples heal from infidelity. For a broader understanding of emotional affairs and recovery, see our Introduction to Affair Recovery. If you’re working through the aftermath…
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13 Ways to Show Respect in Marriage
Respect is a cornerstone of any healthy marriage. When partners treat each other with consideration, kindness, and appreciation, it lays the foundation for a strong and lasting relationship. But what does respect look like in…
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Secure and Avoidant Attachment Combination
In this post, we’ll discuss the dynamics of the Secure and Avoidant attachment combination. We’ll compare and contrast this combination with the Secure-Secure partnership and explore how the Secure partner can support and reassure their…
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Cultural differences in marriage: money matters
In my culture, it is customary for the oldest son to financially support his parents, have them live with me, etc. However, I live in the USA and they are in my home country. My…
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Processing a Fight in the Developmental Model
The Developmental Model, created by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson, in the 1980s, is a unique approach to understanding and resolving marital conflicts. Central to this model is the concept of differentiation, which family…
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Why You Need Boundaries in Marriage
Levels of differentiation Bowen describes two essential aspects of differentiation. On the intrapsychic level, differentiation involves distinguishing between emotional and intellectual processing and the degree of choice a person expresses in choosing how they will behave in a conflict-laden…
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She Does It All, Then Resents Me!
My partner doesn’t trust me to do most tasks, so she does them herself and then resents me for it…what can we do about this? There could be several reasons for this. Talking to her…
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Porn and Marital Conflict: How Compulsive Use Erodes Intimacy
Introduction As internet pornography has become ubiquitous, more couples are grappling with its impact on their relationships. While porn use isn’t always problematic, the latest psychology research suggests it can negatively affect marital satisfaction and…
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20 Toxic Behaviors That Will Gradually Become Bigger Marital Issues
Written: May 29, 2018 Revised 2/12/2025 Marriage is a beautiful journey that brings together two individuals, each with their own unique personalities, habits, and quirks. While it can be a source of immense joy and fulfillment,…
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Too Much Stuff? How To Negotiate Differences
My partner thinks that we have too much stuff, she even calls me a “hoarder.” I think she is overly controlling of our space-always wanting everything perfect. I want to have 15 framed photos even…
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Use This Couple’s New Year’s Resolution Worksheet (We Gave You 9 Ideas to Get Started)
The new year is approaching, and this past year has been challenging for many people. Despite its highs and lows, 2023 allowed people to spend time with their loved ones. Many couples needed to continue…
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7 Sweet Things to Say to Your Husband in a Rough Patch
Consider these sweet phrases not merely as words but as remedies to mend emotional fractures and rebuild connections. In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman, Ph. D., introduces the concept of…
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When to Walk Away After an Infidelity
When an affair shatters the sanctity of a relationship, deciphering the path forward becomes a daunting challenge. As you grapple with the emotional aftermath of infidelity, it is essential to recognize specific markers that can…
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What is Blended Family counseling? How Does It Help?
Congratulations on your new family journey! The excitement of a wedding and setting up rooms for the kids slowly gives way to the complexities of blending families. Suddenly, you’re faced with a new set of…
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Transforming an Ordinary Relationship into Something Truly Extraordinary
Relationships often resemble gardens—requiring care, nurturing, and attention to thrive. Recently, as I’ve spent more time with those dear to me, I’ve reflected on the factors that genuinely nurture our bonds. These insights, almost like…
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Ways Betrayal Trauma Alters the Mind and Body
This post explores how infidelity affects both mind and body, with practical strategies for managing trauma responses. For a broader understanding of emotional affairs and recovery, see our introduction to affair recovery. The discovery of…
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The Next Frontier: Couples Therapy for the Neurodivergent Mind
Originally published January 28, 2020; Updated 12/20/2023 Navigating a neurodivergent marriage presents intricate challenges, confounding even the most skilled couples therapists. During a high-level training seminar for therapists some years back, a case was presented…
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Meta-Emotions and Meta-Emotional Mismatch
Have you ever felt like your partner just doesn’t “get” your emotions? Or struggled to understand why they react so differently to stressful situations? These disconnects may point to an underlying “meta-emotional mismatch”—a term coined…
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Aftermath of a Fight: The Gottman Model
Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how couples handle the aftermath determines whether the relationship grows stronger or deteriorates. According to the Gottman Institute, a leading authority on marriage and relationships, the period following…
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The “Best Way” to Handle Money is to Pick a Trustworthy Partner
Managing finances is a critical aspect of any relationship, and the decision to pool resources or keep them separate can have a significant impact on a couple’s happiness and stability. In their study “Common Cents:…
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