What Does “Rough” Mean in Bed? A Lesson in Sexual Styles
Dear Dr. K, I love my girlfriend and don’t want to hurt her, but she keeps telling me to be “rougher” in bed. When I try, she either gets mad… or laughs. What am I…
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Why One-Day Couple’s Therapy Intensives Fail: The Case for Deep Therapeutic Process
It was over 12 years ago, and a couple I worked with only wanted to spend one day with me. It was just long enough for me to give them an extensive assessment and feedback….
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7 Science-Backed Reasons Why Emotional Intimacy in Marriage is So Challenging
Let’s be honest – developing emotional intimacy in your relationships is hard work on the best of days. But throw in economic pressures, political divisiveness, and the relentless barrage of negative news? It’s like trying…
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How to Prepare for Couples Counseling
Are You Ready to Transform Your Relationship? Learn How to Prepare Let’s be honest – knowing how to prepare for marriage counseling can make all the difference between wasting time and money or actually creating…
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When Couples Therapists Become Plumbers: Dealing with Emotional “Poop”
Have you ever noticed how we only call plumbers when there’s a crisis? The toilet is overflowing, the shower won’t drain, or worse—sewage is backing up into your beautiful home. By that point, it’s too…
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The World’s Worse Marital Advice
When you thought it couldn’t get this bad… 1. You Deserve to Be Happy When people are in individual therapy, and they share their marital unhappiness, they are sometimes told: “You deserve to be happy…”…
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Interfaith Relationships: Navigating Religious Differences in Romance
“My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We plan to get married. But a big hurdle is different religions. He promised he was ok with my religion, and now he’s not. We…
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Who Is More Loyal Male or Female in a Relationship? Beyond Gender Stereotypes
When we deal with betrayal, couples often want to know, “Which gender is more loyal in a relationship?” I understand the desire for a simple answer—we all want predictability in matters of the heart. But…
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Married But Living Separately: Redefining Relationships
Selma and Ben came to me after years of living apart, given commitments to school and careers. While they formally got engaged, they were now rethinking their decision. Selma was from the East Coast and…
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“Why Is My Husband Yelling At Me? Abuse in Our Loving Homes
In a Nutshell: What This Article Explores If you’ve ever found yourself searching “why is my husband yelling at me” or “why does my husband scream at me,” you’re not alone. This article explores the…
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My Husband Wants Sex But Not Intimacy.
Dear Dr. K, My husband and I have sex regularly, but our sex life is very one-sided. For me, sexual intimacy starts with feeling loving toward my husband. For my husband, a good sex life…
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My Wife Is Always Angry: The Hidden Science of Female Anger
Dear Dr. K, My wife is always angry at me. I can’t talk to her without her getting angry. My wife says I don’t listen to her, but I do. She always tells people “my…
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The 7 Stages of Affair Recovery: A Complete Healing Guide for Couples
She didn’t realize she’d dropped the iPad until she heard it strike the floor. That’s how discovery happens – not with dramatic confrontations, but with small sounds that divide your life into before and after. …
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Emotional Affairs: Gender Differences, Relationship Impact, and Contemporary Research
Introduction Emotional affairs represent one of the most insidious threats to committed relationships. Unlike physical affairs with their clear boundaries, emotional infidelity develops gradually, making it difficult to identify exactly when a line has been…
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I Want to Talk With My Wife: Breaking the Silence
You want to connect with your wife, but the words feel stuck somewhere between your heart and your mouth. As a clinical psychologist, I’ve sat with countless men who share this exact struggle. Let’s talk…
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Transition to Parenthood: What New Parents Need to Know
Originally published November 14, 2017. Re-written February 7, 2025 Becoming a parent is one of life’s most profound transformations – a journey that reshapes not just your daily routines but the very foundation of your…
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Marriage in Crisis: When Your Wife Needs to ‘Find Herself’ But Leaves You Behind
Dear Dr. K, I’ve been married for nearly 12 years, and during that time, my wife and I have built a life together that, on the surface, seems stable and full. However, over the past…
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The Intimate Dance: Why is Sex Important in Marriage?
Marriage is a complex and beautiful relationship that thrives on many forms of connection. While emotional bonds, shared values, and mutual respect form the foundation, physical intimacy plays a unique and vital role in creating…
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When Your Husband Prioritizes Friends Over His Wife
At 11 PM, Roy’s car pulled up after another night with friends, leaving Cora with that familiar hollow ache. The dishwasher was the only other life in their quiet home as Cora finished another solitary…
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How to Control Anger in Your Relationship
Everyone experiences anger, but how you express it can make or break your relationship. Research by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman reveals that anger itself isn’t what predicts relationship failure—it’s how couples handle their angry…
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When Money Troubles Hit Home: A Different Take on Marriage and Finances
Money is often called the leading cause of divorce, but that’s not entirely accurate. It’s not just about the dollars and cents – it’s about what money represents in our relationships: trust, security, power, and…
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How to Deal with Resentment in a Relationship
Every relationship has its silent struggles – those small moments of frustration that build up over time like layers of sediment. Whether it’s repeatedly broken promises, uneven household responsibilities, or competing priorities between work and…
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Why We Fight at Christmas (And How to Make Peace)
Every family has their holiday battles. Here’s how I learned to survive them – and eventually understand what they really mean. The Great Temperature Wars Let me tell you about the Christmas that ended my…
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Surviving the Holidays with a Strained Marriage: 11 Expert Tips to Keep Your Sanity (and Your Relationship) Intact
Originally published Dec 8, 2020. Updated Dec 21, 2025 Ah, the holidays – that magical time of year filled with twinkling lights, festive cheer…and the potential for relationship disaster if your marriage is on the…
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