Kitchen Sinking and Kitchen Thinking

Kitchen Sinking…The Problem of Old Resentments Gottman’s research tells us that effective complaining is a learned skill. There is one verbal habit that comes naturally that we need to correct

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Postpartum Depression and Marital Conflict

Postpartum Depression… What is it? Postpartum Depression is a serious mood disorder that may occur in the first few months after giving birth. It has also been known to happen after a miscarriage

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Repair Your Relationship in 6 Steps

How to Repair Your Relationship Repair your relationship by re-building trust. Day by day, interaction by interaction. Gottman’s research tells us the quality and resilience of the Friendship System

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The Sound Relationship House Revisited

The Sound Relationship House One Story at a Time What is the Sound Relationship House? It seems that you can’t find a Gottman trained blogger or Gottman “informed” therapist website which

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Marital Complaints and Disco Balls

Can Marital Complaints Lead to Intimacy? Marital complaints are a frequent topic in couples therapy. How to make them, what they mean, etc., etc. In a recent post, I described how learning to repair during

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Introducing the Coming of “Fight Club”

Those who know marketing warned me to pre-sell it, because they "just can't see it." Technical people think the logistics will be a nightmare.But no matter.​You can't keep a good idea down.  As

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Adult Children of Divorce

Adult Children of Divorce Adult Children of Divorce suffer too. There is a robust cultural belief that adult children, once successfully launched, are relatively unimpacted by their parent’s divorce.

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Gaslighting and Marital Conflict

What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a less subtle form of emotional abuse that seeks to control a partner through a pattern of over the top criticism and reality distortion. The term “Gaslighting”

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Stay Stuck in Couples Therapy in 11 Easy Steps

Couples Therapy is for Chumps. Stay Stuck Instead. Couples Therapy is just a giant pain in the ass. They flat out expect way too much from you and refuse to accept the fact that you are already doing

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Love at First Fight

Love and Repair What do I mean by “Love at First Fight?” Learning to fight well and repair with skill is a fundamental undertaking in science-based couples therapy. When Gottman Institute researchers

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