How To Use Your Brain for a Change

How to Use Your Brain for a Change in Your Marriage After you have had some therapy, how do you imagine that you would want to talk to your partner? When you have participated in a couples therapy intensive,

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The Worst That Could Happen… to Who Exactly?

The Worst That Could Happen? To Who Exactly? Normally I am a fan of songwriter Jimmy Webb. He gave us such fantastic songs like “By the Time I Get to Phoenix,” the somewhat incomprehensible

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Softened Start Up: How it Starts is How it Ends

The Importance of Softened Start-Up John Gottman’s 1999 study, Predicting Divorce among Newlyweds from the First Three Minutes of a Marital Conflict was a landmark event in couples therapy research.

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Discernment Counseling for Couples

What is Discernment Counseling for couples? Discernment counseling is a strictly short-term process. It is not couples therapy. The focus is not on solving marital problems but on exploring the possibility

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International Couples: How We Surface and Soothe Your Differences

Don’t Assume That You will Always Understand Each Other… Or Even Always Want to…. One of my mentors trained with one of the greatest family therapists of all time;  Salvador Minuchin.

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The 7 Organizing Dimensions of Culture

International Couples When we think about culture, it is useful to think along seven dimensions: Time The Universe and how we got here. The Meaning and Cohesiveness of Family. Emotional Expressiveness Interpersonal

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Goodness Gracious…What Women Want from Men Emotionally

What Women Want from Men Emotionally Freud Famously Asked the Question, “What Do Women Want?” According to Dr. John Gottman, what women want most from men is trustworthiness. Be authentic.

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What You Need To Know About Fighting Fair

Fighting Fair Means If the Complaint is Directed at You…Lean in Fighting fair starts with respecting your partner and the issue they are bringing up. Gottman says that the way a conversation starts

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