If You Had 3 Rules for a Happy Marriage What Would They Be?

by Dr.K

  1. Take your relationship more seriously than you take any other job you have. If your partner feels ignored, drop everything and sit down and talk. If you take that complaint as “bitching” you will weaken the very foundations of your love. Remain open and nondefensive. A happy marriage offers many benefits in every other area of life, from happy kids to career advancement.
  2. Don’t give up on sex. You don’t need to involve your genitals, but you do need to invest your heart. Don’t make sex about you, your feelings or ego, or your gratification alone. But don’t make their gratification the holy grail either. Make it about both of you opening yourselves up to feeling good sensations and grooving with whatever happens.
  3. A fish dies from the head down. A family dies from the marriage down. Kids are super special. But they don’t belong in a superior position. They don’t own the house and can’t vote or support the family. So keep them from controlling anything involving your marriage. If your spouse says he or she feels “second to the kids,” see #1.

I'm a licensed psychologist, Gottman-certified therapist, with over 30 years of experience helping couples build stronger relationships. Listed in the National Register of Health Service Psychologists, my extensive background includes decades as a sex therapist, bringing depth to my work with couples navigating intimacy challenges. I specialize in neurodiversity and emotional intelligence - areas where couples need practical, real-world solutions rather than textbook answers.
As the former Program Director of Counseling Psychology at Antioch University New England and a licensed psychologist in MA, AZ, CA, and FL, I bring both academic depth and clinical wisdom to my writing. But what really matters? Making relationship insights accessible and practical for couples ready to grow stronger together.

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