What is the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy?

John Gottman, Ph.D., and the Gottman Institute have spent over 40 years studying couples. This research predicts, with over a 90% accuracy rate, which couples would end up happy, unhappy, or divorced.

It uses a therapeutic framework called "The Sound Relationship House theory." This research-based method also uses a host of therapeutic interventions. Goals are to build love maps, create shared meaning and manage conflict, including perpetual problems.

This Gottman Method Couples Therapy research tells us what works and doesn't in healthy relationships. And we can now teach you successful ways to connect to each other.

It isn't hard to learn, but it takes practice applying it to your relationship. Not brilliant insight, earth-shaking empathy, or remarkable patience.

Practice.

Dr. John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D.

Dr. John Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D.

It also requires the belief that your relationship is in Negative Sentiment Override (NSO), a temporary state, and not permanently "doomed."

This method requires a willingness to open up and to work hard to make your relationship better.

Applying Science to Your Relationship

It's natural to argue or disagree with each other occasionally. But when those fights result in escalation and losing respect for each other, it's time to address the situation. We can work with your marriage to help you better communicate and work through troublesome issues.

is a researcher who has spent over 40 years studying couples throughout their lifespan. He looked at how various life events impacted relationships, including...

This method requires a willingness to open up and to work hard to make your relationship better. It also requires the belief that your relationship is in Negative Sentiment Override (NSO), a temporary state, and not permanently "doomed."

Applying science to your relationship

It's natural to argue or disagree with each other occasionally. But when those fights result in escalation and losing respect for each other, it's time to address the situation. We can work with your marriage to help you better communicate and work through troublesome issues.

is a researcher who has spent over 40 years studying couples throughout their lifespan. He looked at how various life events impacted relationships, including...

  • Dating
  • Birth of the first child
  • Empty nest
  • Retirement

With his wife, Julie, he developed a model of Gottman therapy they called “Gottman Method Couples Therapy."

His research looked like this: 

Couples from all walks of life would come to his "love lab." This is an apartment specially designed by him to conduct his research.

Every second of their interaction, from morning until bedtime, was recorded. The couples even wore physiological monitoring devices (biofeedback) to monitor their level of heart rates during the day.

When they fought, researchers would come to the door. They would hand them a urine sample cup to measure the distress in their urine produced by the argument.

He also took blood and urine samples. Why? He was looking for any relevant correlations to marital longevity and happiness.

He watched and recorded the couple’s voice, gestures, movements, speech, as well as emotional and facial expressions.

He scored how they made decisions, how they used humor, how they expressed affection, and how they fought. He scored their videotapes and classified what they said while taking a specifically structured interview.

Dr. Ubiñas teaches new parents about the Gottman Method. She is completing the Gottman Method Couples Therapy Certification Track. 

Then he followed them to see how their relationship worked out.

Dr. Gottman then divided these couples into three piles: "Happy," "Unhappy," or "Divorced." Sorting the data and he asked: "What's different about these three couple groups?"

He learned to predict, with over a 90% accuracy rate, which couples would end up happy, unhappy, or divorced.

Can the Gottman Method save a marriage?

Not all marriages can be saved by this approach. There are relationships where either personality disorders, psychiatric disorders, substance abuse, domestic violence, or ongoing affairs can prevent effective work.

There are also relationships where chronic problems, loyalty issues, commitment, and betrayals interfere. Couples must be both willing and able to use these tools.

Couples must have an absence of severe characterological emotional abuse. It takes a sincere willingness to work through your issues. It also takes abiding fondness and respect for your partner (even if tested).

Gottman relationship research you can benefit from

As in all Gottman therapy, we record a specific structured interview (10 minutes long), as part of our assessment.

We watch our couples' facial expressions and use Paul Ekman's work to learn how to recognize these "micro-expressions." These facial micro-expressions appear across the face in a fraction of a second.

Complete work online or in person

Gottman assessments are designed and validated to provide a profile of strengths and weaknesses in a particular relationship. 

This provides us with measurable and scientific information we can use to help you.

Our Gottman couples therapy clients complete this same set of questions (with other instruments, including ones on attachment. Dr. K's own instruments on sexuality are also included. You will receive the most comprehensive review of your relationship available today.

What is a Gottman Method Therapist?

The Gottman Institute trains mental health professionals. This training is three levels of dyadic training and a certification track that requires direct supervision by an approved consultant. In order to be considered a Gottman-trained therapist with certification, you must also submit samples of your clinical work.

You'll need to demonstrate skill in applying Gottman interventions to a variety of relationship issues. You can find certified Gottman method couples therapists at Couples Therapy Inc or search the Gottman Referral Network.

Learn more about the Gottman Method.


Ready for a change in your relationship?

It starts with a no-obligation 15 minute phone call with our client services team.

Dr. Kathy McMahon


Dr. Kathy McMahon (Dr. K) is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. She is also the founder and president of Couples Therapy Inc. Dr. K feels passionate about couples therapy and sex therapy and holds a deep respect towards those who invest in making their relationship better. She is currently conducting online and in person private couples retreats.

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