Mindful Practice does not discriminate. It cools hot tempers and restores awareness. Rain does not discriminate either. It cools, refreshes and restores everyone.
“RAIN” is also a well-known acronym for mindfulness practice which is often useful in couples therapy. The R.A.I.N. practice teaches couples how to be curious and cultivate an interlocking capacity to hold shared experiences with openness and curiosity while suspending judgment. This is particularly important when you are not getting along, and especially important for men. Mindful Practice helps reduce defensiveness and stonewalling.
“Just Because your Cat has kittens in the oven doesn’t make them biscuits.” Polish Proverb.
Regular practice of Mindfulness ultimately results in a robust “observing self.” If you engage in a Mindful Practice faithfully, you will gradually learn to not take what your mind tells your personally. Your awareness will deepen, and perhaps you will acquire compassion for the automatically reactive part of you.
Daniel is a Marriage and Family Therapist. He currently sees couples at Couples Therapy Inc. using EFT, Gottman Method, and the Developmental Model.