Even if you're powerful in the rest of your life, when you are broken-hearted, you feel wounded and adrift.
You may act icy cold to keep your partner or the pain at bay. Or solicitous but anxious, and the nervousness shows. Or maybe irritability and annoyance is dominant.
Picking fights followed by long silences are happening too frequently. You've got a lot going on. Juggling a full life. But you've got no time. The vacations are even starting to get ruined with: "You just had to say that, didn't you?"
When our committed relationships have re-connected, kissing is easy. We hug with full tenderness and feeling.
We feel whole again.
Maybe you've believed that. But we all know the true joy of a contented embrace. We know that love means to open ourselves up and share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Give freely and allowing ourselves to feel passionate.
Dinners are happier times, bedtimes are calm and tender. Your children relax. Even a movie is an excuse to just sit cuddling on the couch. And what about the years you've spent together.
Maybe you haven't been really emotionally connected in a while. It could be that a crisis has sent you both reeling. An illness; a financial setback. Even a regrettable incident that left one or both of you feeling deeply hurt.
Did you feel taken for granted when your partner made their mark on the world?
Or maybe your sexual relationship has become lackluster. Both of you seem too often "tired" or listless when you make love. The love is there, just not the same level of enthusiasm. Enriching a marriage is like vitamins that enrich your body. It keeps both of you sharp and on your toes about what's truly important in life.
My clients call me "Dr. K"
I'm the founder and president of Couples Therapy Inc.
After I experienced much success seeing couples in an intensive format, I had a dream:
A worldwide practice devoted to healing ailing lovers. With a science-based team as broad and diverse as our World. A view of marriage that respects diverse points of view, but never strays too far from proven, demonstrated-to-be- effective method.
Couples Therapy Inc span over 19 time zones and almost a dozen languages are now spoken here. We have an incredible "dream team" of some of the most highly-trained credentialed couples therapists in the world.
As a Team, we meet once a month by video-conferencing. We make clinical presentations to each other, and design psychoeducational materials we make available to the general public.
We're also in the process of formulating research papers for the therapeutic community focused on the dimensions of love and marriage as seen from the clinical lens of intensive and online work.
All from a scientific perspective.
Our first Annual Organizational meeting was held in Los Angeles in April of 2017. We attended a conference on couples therapy. We see our work as an continuous process of ongoing clinical practice, consultation and research, publishing, professional presentations, and then more clinical practice! We enjoy sharing our own discoveries in clinical interventions and practices.
Our colleagueship helps us to move the field forward, one couples at a time. And we're a proud part of that growing body of work. We've assembled a lively and eclectic team which can vigorously disagree with one another, while maintaining respect and admiration (a goal we hold dear for couples...) and hiring is still ongoing.
I say I look through a 1000 resumes a year, but that's probably an understatement.
It's not a problem finding applicants. Some apply with decades of a variety of clinical experience.
We provide a lot of information on this website, both inside these pages and on our blog. The website changes frequently. It's an evolving labor of love. Please bear with us if something doesn't look quite right. We'll get to it... Or let us know using the link on the bottom left. We'll send you a nice card if you give us your address as a 'thank you.'
Our blog has a science-of-relationships focus, and Daniel Dashnaw, MA, MFT is the Editor. Take advantage of learning about science-based clinical work with couples.
And then find the absolute best qualified professionals you can, given your financial wherewithal.
It matters to the survival and growth of your most precious adult relationship: your lover, your friend, your spouse.
But few have any objective credentials (supervised experience or academic training...) to do couples therapy. And simply having a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy is not enough (although some believe that it is...). That academic training seldom gives you more than one course devoted exclusively to couples. And the internships these students find are rarely "couples therapy" focused. They often work through in-home therapy settings with families in crisis, teenage residential settings and other individual and family therapy work.
Few are fortunate enough to have couples in their training caseload, and most of those cases involve parent guidance issues. And because health insurance doesn't cover couples therapy, they (wrongly) believe that they should build up their private practice talents in other areas once they begin to work on their own.
I want to share the lessons I've learned from searching for qualified couples therapists for this practice and finding very few. I want to help you to find a qualified expert. I want you to demand skilled, science-based couples therapy professionals closest to home.
But if you can't, I invite you to attend one of our intensive couples therapy retreats. It's not a group experience. It is an organized clinical offering, just like our Online Couples Therapy, that gives you a thorough look at your marital dynamics and what needs to change.
We'll even help you to find a skilled professional you can continue with at home, and consult with them to 'bring them up to speed' at no charge to you. Or, if we're legally allowed to do so in your state, we'll do clinical follow-ups online as well. We're even soon to launch an innovative program called "Fabulous Spouse" to be of continued support to our clients during their ongoing healing and skills-building process.
It's part of the power of teamwork, pulling together to produce great results, just like a well-functioning marriage. We're well-trained, and devoted to helping your marriage work better.
I want you to be a wise consumer as you seek out couples therapy. Know what to look for in seeking professional help for your relationship.
We've produced a comprehensive Definitive Guide to Couples Therapy retreats.
It's a free PDF. DOWNLOAD IT HERE.
To bring the most highly qualified couples therapists together to share cutting-edge knowledge and elevate our collective level of expertise.
Our team effort allows us to refine our skills in the never-ending process of providing better expert couples therapy this year than we did last year...to couples anywhere on this planet!
I've assembled this team slowly and carefully. They not only have to be motivated couples therapist, they have to be kind and thoughtful people. They have to yearn for professional connections with other high-achievers like themselves and have a never-ending passion for excellence.
Ours is a lens that studies loving connection, bonding and how those bonds get broken and mended. We see people not as a collection of individuals, but as a network of families and friends. Collectively, we too, represent a connected network. Our clinicians represent a cross section of our diverse world, speaking a dozen languages, and spanning 19 time zones. Each of us form a broad tapestry of ages, ethnicities, cultures, language, and knowledge, but we all share a passion for working with couples.
Be sure to read our Personal Statements on our Team Page to learn more about each of us.
We believe that things will change not only as therapist train, but also as our clients become educated about the needed skills and qualifications for effective couples treatment. As consumers, when you begin to insist on advanced level of training, our colleagues will comply.
The problems are complex. You can learn more about the current state of our field HERE.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to learn more about us and our approach. And for taking the time to learn about our remarkable Team.
Like us, our clients are driven, successful people, too. We believe that if the most powerful among us learn what good science-based therapy is, and how helpful it can be to couples, they will no longer tolerate the level of formalized training our colleagues consider "adequate" to do what passess for couples therapy today.
The good news is that this is slowly changing, thanks to the tireless efforts of well-recognized training institutes like The Gottman Institute (where our own Drs. Wolfe & Menieur and Rev. Ramsey have trained therapists) and The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy, as well as lesser known training institutes like the Midwest's The Doherty Institute (training open to all of our Team members), the Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California, and the challenging, live, face-to-face training done by our own Team Member: The Center for Relationships in Austin, Texas.
Like myself, many of you have received poor quality couples therapy and quit, believing it was your relationship that failed, not the therapist. Let that no longer be the case in 2018.