Even if you're powerful in the rest of your life, when broken-hearted, you feel wounded and adrift. You may act icy cold to keep your partner or the pain at bay. Or you may be solicitous but anxious, and the nervousness shows. Or your spouse gets irritated and everybody's annoyed.
Picking fights followed by long silences are happening too frequently. You've got a lot going on. Juggling a full life. But you've got no time. The vacations are even starting to get ruined with: "You just had to say that, didn't you?"
When our committed relationships have re-connected, kissing is easy. We hug with full tenderness and feeling.
We feel whole again.
Maybe you've believed that. Maybe you believe that today. But we all know the joy of true contentment. We know that to embrace love means to open ourselves up and share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Give freely. Opening up and allowing ourselves to feel passionate.
Dinners are happier times, bedtimes are calm and tender. Your children relax. Even a movie is an excuse to just sit cuddling on the couch. And what about the years you've spent together.
So often we give up, believing our feelings of hopelessness are reality, instead of another stage we're living through. But you don't have to suffer. You can learn to love better.
Maybe you haven't been really emotionally connected in a while. It could be that a crisis has sent you both reeling. An illness; a financial setback. Even a regrettable incident that left one or both of you feeling deeply hurt.
Did your parents or partner take you for granted when they made their mark on the world?
Or maybe your sexual relationship has become lackluster. Both of you seem too often "tired" or listless when you make love. The love is there, just not the same level of enthusiasm. Enriching a marriage is like vitamins that enrich your body. It keeps both of you sharp and on your toes about what's truly important in life.
The field of couples therapy is still in its infancy.
After only 40 years of systematically studying couples, we've made a great start thanks to the giants who have devoted their lives to this endeavor. We are so grateful for their efforts.
But the work continues...
I'm the founder and President of Couples Therapy Inc.
In April of 2013, I began Couples Therapy Inc. after a dream I had:
I wanted to have a religiously and culturally diverse group. Clinicians from all around the world discussing how to help troubled marriages. Almost a dozen languages are now spoken at Couples Therapy Inc.
As a Team, we meet once a month by video-conferencing. We make clinical presentations to each other, and design psychoeducational materials we make available to the general public.
We're also in the process of formulating research papers for the therapeutic community focused on the dimensions of love and marriage as seen from the clinical lens of intensive and online work.
All from a scientific perspective.
Our first Annual Organizational meeting was held in Los Angeles in April of 2017. A lively conversation and dinner was had by all and we attended a conference on couples therapy. We see our work as an ongoing process of ongoing clinical practice, consultation and research, publishing, professional presentations, and then more clinical practice! We enjoy sharing our own discoveries in clinical interventions and practices.
Our colleagueship helps us to move the field forward, one couples at a time. And we're a proud part of that growing body of work. We've assembled a lively and eclectic team which can vigorously disagree with one another, while maintaining respect and admiration (a goal we hold dear for couples...) and hiring is still ongoing.
Some with decades of experience.
But few had any objective credentials (supervised experience or the academic training...) to do couples therapy.
I say I look through a 1000 resumes a year, but that's probably an understatement.
My experience searching for qualified couples therapists and finding very few, was a lesson I want to share with you. I want you to find a qualified expert. If you can't attend one of our retreats, perhaps you can find a marriage counselor closer to home.
I want you to be a wise consumer as you seek out couples therapy. Know what to look for in seeking professional help for your relationship.
We've produced a comprehensive Definitive Guide to Couples Therapy retreats.
It's a free PDF.
DOWNLOAD IT HERE.
We provide a lot of information on this website, both inside these pages and on our blog . The website changes frequently. It's an evolving labor of love. Please bear with us if something doesn't look quite right. We'll get to it...
Our blog has a science-of-relationships focus, and Daniel Dashnaw, MA, MFT is the Editor. Take advantage of learning about science-based clinical work with couples.
And then find the absolute best qualified professionals you can, given your financial wherewithal.
It matters to the survival and growth of your most precious adult relationship: your lover, your friend, your spouse.
To bring the most highly qualified couples therapists together to share cutting-edge knowledge and elevate our collective level of expertise.
Our team effort allows us to refine our skills in the never-ending process of providing better expert couples therapy this year than we did last year...to couples anywhere on this planet!
I've assembled this team slowly and carefully. They not only have to be motivated couples therapist, they have to be kind and thoughtful people. They have to yearn for professional connection and have a never-ending passion for excellence.
Ours is a worldview that studies loving connection, bonding and how those bonds get broken and mended. We see people not as a collection of individuals, but as a network of families and friends. Collectively, we too, represent a connected network. Our clinicians represent a cross section of our diverse world, speaking 13 languages, and spanning 19 time zones. Each of us form a broad tapestry of ages, ethnicities, cultures, language, and knowledge, but we all share a passion for working with couples.
Be sure to read our Personal Statements on our Team Page to learn more about each of us.
Our goal is to provide education to our successful "uber couples" about couples therapy itself.
We believe that if the most powerful among us learn what good science-based therapy is, and how helpful it can be to couples, you will no longer tolerate what passess for "couples therapy" today.
Many of you have received poor quality couples therapy and quit, believing it was your relationship that failed, not the therapist.
The good news is that this is slowing changing, thanks to the tireless efforts of training institutes in couples therapy like The Gottman Institute and The International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy.
We believe that things will change not only as therapist train, but also as our clients become educated about the needed skills and qualifications for effective couples treatment. As consumers, when you begin to insist on advanced level of training, our colleagues will comply.
The problems are complex. You can learn more about the current state of our field HERE.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to learn more about us and our approach. And for taking the time to learn about our remarkable Team.
While no two couples are alike, we most often work with couples who are as invested in being successful in their personal lives as they are in their careers, education, or changing the world. You are the 'Shakers and Movers' of the world. You may run your own successful business, or lead a large corporation. You may be in IT, an app developer, an inventor, an engineer, or in academia, medicine, or law.
You may be in the public eye, either in sports, entertainment, or in your own therapeutic communities, as therapists. You seek out the privacy that only a remote clinical home offices can provide. Our online couples reach out because they live as international teachers, government employees, diplomats, NGO's or CEO's in multi-national corporations stationed overseas.
Others live in rural areas on large tracts of land or farms. Some are International couples, while others are expats or military. These couples find it hard to secure high-quality couples therapy where they live.
Many busy professionals have no time for ongoing weekly sessions and find the idea of completing six months of treatment over a weekend appealing. They may continue their work locally, but now with a clear agenda and purpose.
The majority of our couples are in extreme marital distress when they arrive. Some are even on the verge of divorce. They need a place to think clearly and come away with a better sense of what they want out of their relationship. They seek out a couples' specialist with advanced training, as they excel in most things and they expect us to be experts as well.
They tell us that we offer a supportive, nurturing environment, enabling them to get in touch with their best selves and to rediscover just how important their partners are to them...and how renewing that commitment once again, to share their love and respect.
They take the time to work through vital issues in couples counseling that block their capacity to experience spontaneous passion and deep satisfaction.
Are you able to benefit from this help?
Yes! But NOT the Way It's Practiced Today...
And here's why:
Couples Therapy requires a different set of skills than individual therapy.
We have those skills. As therapists having devoted our professional careers to working with couples, we use and sometimes innovate the latest techniques that have been proven to be effective. And we have the credentials to prove it. We're trained in at least two theories of couples therapy (one must be evidenced-based) before we're called "Associates."
But many of us have 3, 4, or more certifications.
We find it a joy and a privilege to provide expert, effective couples therapy to our clients.
Couples want more than just a reduction in fighting. They want to enrich their relationships, heal from pain, and recover their innate capacity for joy.
Couples therapy is a specialization. While both dentists and eye doctors work on the face, they are hardly interchangeable professions. Same thing goes for individual and couples therapists. They are entirely different specialties and require different training.
We provide clinical services exclusively to couples. Learn more about evidence-based treatment models.
Could you noticeably improve your relationship in a weekend?
We provide expert help for couples in an Intensive Couples Retreat format. You'll experience the equivalent of six months of couples therapy, all in a convenient weekend.
For us, it's a win-win, even with the most troubled of couples.
Couples attend our Intensive Couples Retreats from within and outside the USA, Europe, the Middle East and across Asia. Intensive Couples Retreats provide a unique way to reach your therapeutic relationship goals, all in (dare we say it again?) a single weekend.
And worse yet, they expected you not to be surprised?
"We've not been doing well for a long time..." they might have said. You may have known things weren't good, but had no idea they were that deeply unhappy.
Maybe you are hoping to bring life back to a relationship that is lackluster, to recover from an affair, or just manage conflict in a more useful and productive way.
You are lonely and you don't understand why.
Perhaps you are fighting off hopelessness that things will improve, feeling cold and mechanical during sex, or having no intimacy at all. Everyone deserves to feel loved and respected, not merely "tolerated" by their intimate partner. We'll bring our experience, enthusiasm, and energy to helping you reach your relationship goals.
Affairs. Loneliness. Resentments. Trouble sharing your deepest feelings. You are hurting, and need fast help.
Relationships are hard, but should also be sweet.
Sustaining a long-term relationship takes effort, dedication, and lots of hard work. But it is the passionate engagement and companionship that makes it worthwhile. Our sole focus at Couples Therapy Inc is in helping your intimate relationship. We work with all relationships, married or not, straight, GBLTQIA... If you are working hard to love better, we can help. We believe in making marriage counseling and couples therapy easily accessible for busy professionals. We do that in two ways: in Online Couples Therapy and Marriage Retreats.
(we call it a "State of the Union"), with Intensive Couples Therapy Retreats, and Online Couples Therapy. We're also unique in helping couples both across the USA and Internationally. Couples Therapy Inc., has even been featured in a news story on CBS - New York about online couples therapy as a recent treatment modality choice for couples. Do you travel a lot, making weekly sessions impossible? We practice marriage counseling online and in an intensive couples retreat format for couples within the U.S.A., and Internationally. Online marriage counseling is a growing trend. Will it work for you?
Our home office is in Cummington, Massachusetts. A little town that time forgot. If you live in the city, and you come here for an intensive, you'll be impressed by the natural beauty.
Cummington brags it has the best foliage in New England. That claim, however, cannot be proven!
Couples Therapy Inc. is a family business. We love our New England roots. We have a tradition in Western Massachusetts for excellence in couples therapy, and have several training organizations and professionals who practice here.
We have a large number of colleges and universities as well. Many of Couples Therapy Inc. clinicians teach as well as maintain private practices and their work here. It keep us up-to-date on research, ethics, and collegial spirit. This informs our clinical work. Volunteering and training our colleagues keeps us connected to our profession.
We're proud to be a part of that tradition.
In our work with you, we draw from the most current research on what helps marriages, relationships and individuals. Our goal is to help you flourish and prosper. Each couple seeking couples counseling is unique.
For this reason, we draw from several models of counseling methodology, as well as our own experience in helping people. All of us are required to have at LEAST Level I & II of Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
Five of us have obtained the prestigious title of Certified Gottman Therapist, or are board-certified sex therapists. Two of our Master Therapists have been part of an early group of clinicians who have trained professionals in the Gottman Method through their Institute. Three others have Level III training or are on the "Certification Track." Three have run graduate programs in psychology. Another is an ordained minister with over 49 years of couples therapy experience.
And there are those devoted to the work of Sue Johnson, Ph.D., who, next to Gottman, is the other evidence-based training model out there for working effectively with couples.
We are also delighted to have a certified Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapist (EFT) on staff who will soon be credentialed as an EFT supervisor.
You are assured of getting the highest quality of care.
We're also active in our work with you because research shows that active therapists produce the best results.
In our sessions, you'll get the practical tools you need to support the quality of life and relationship you want. You'll discover how to become calm, even under stress. You'll learn by "doing," not just by "saying." You'll participate in intelligent, engaging, and structured interactions. Our work will stress the science behind the practical information we'll be applying.
Through honest feedback, down-to-earth stories, and even humor, you will develop your capacity to meet life’s challenges and relationship problems that have, up to now, seemed insurmountable.
People are surprised how open they can be with us about the most delicate of subjects. You will find each of us candid, caring, and collaborative.
A guiding principle at Couples Therapy Inc. emphasizes the importance of a thorough understanding of your relationship problems prior to beginning couples therapy. While it may take more time initially, like a diamond, we need to strike gently, at just the right point, to help modify or transform your relationship dynamics.
Without a thorough clinical assessment, each couples therapy session would become an aimless "stand alone" meeting without a road map.
While this applies to all couples therapy, it is particularly true for the modalities of couples therapy we work in: Online Couples Therapy and Intensive Marriage Retreats. We are masters of both, and get results, in large part, because of our unique clinical marital assessment process.
We spend an hour and 20 minutes in our final assessment session, going over in detail with both of you:
~ What we have learned;
~ Where your relationship has predictable strengths;
~ Which areas need improvement, and;
~ How long we believe our work will take.
We want you to be well-informed about the particular methods and approaches we'll be using to help your marriage.
A large part of our success, in addition to our remarkable clinical team, is our thorough assessment was affectionately named by one of our couples: The BIG BIG Book. The BIG BIG Book is completed online, on your own time, by each of you separately and independently. Most of our couples credit the start of their treatment as beginning with working on their BIG BIG Book.
The link to The BIG BIG Book is sent to you after you schedule your initial couples therapy appointment. Learn more about The BIG BIG Book here.
Don't have the time to fit in weekly sessions? Why not schedule a weekend or midweek Intensive Couples Therapy Retreat? Intensives combine six months of weekly 45-minute sessions in one weekend!
During intensives, couples spend a weekend in any of 12 location both inside and outside the USA.
International couples also video-conference from all over the world, as do our couples in Intensive Couples Retreats. In addition, for each retreat,psychoeducational training is planned, to reinforce your learning and for "relapse prevention."
Designated Team members are couples therapists willing to fly into your location and conduct your retreats in a nearby hotel suite. Additional costs apply. Please see us for details.
Perhaps your relationship is going well, but your sexual lives are stale, mechanical, or nonexistent. You may prefer to attend one of our Intensive Couples Sex Therapy Retreats. Learn more about Intensive Sex Therapy Retreats.
Would you like to set up a Couples Retreat? Learn how to schedule an initial Online Assessment?
Ready to learn more?
Click on titles below that interest you.
Learn about an evidence-based therapy for couples that has over 40 years of research behind it: The Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
"Last Shot" Couples Therapy" is for the couple in which one partner is considering or has begun the process of separation or divorce;
Sex Therapy is couples therapy that focuses on intimacy needs that are causing relationship stress. We've taught these same skills at the graduate level to counseling students.
Who's Dr. K, the psychologist who began Couples Therapy Inc.
Find out here.
We have an exceptionally skilled European clinician? Find about about Nancy here. In Australia? Check out Jack O'Leary profile. We also have our newest international couples therapist in Hermanus, Western Cape, South Africa: Tehilla Luttig.
Hablas español? Sí, La Dra. Rodríguez Haga clic aquí.
German and French spoken also by Angela Voegele, M.S.W.
Dr. Menuier speaks Hindi and Tamil
Jenny Fang speaks Mandarin, Taiwanese, and Japanese.
Learn why chronic fights are described as Fights about Nothing."
> Learn how you can complete a thorough Online Marriage Therapy Assessment to be clear on the steps ahead. Available as part of, or offered as a precursor for Online Couples Therapy. Learn even more here.
International Caller: +1 212-328-1162