Category Archives for How to Help Couples

Marriage Problems Don’t Need Solutions

 Marriage Problems Don’t Need Solutions. Marriage problems are the reason couples enter in couples therapy. Most couples are looking for solutions and are surprised at first to hear that a skilled

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The Four-Letter Word You Aren’t Saying Often Enough

My clients know that I don’t shy away from using four-letter words. But there is a valuable four letter word you probably aren’t saying often enough. Instead, you might use other four-letter

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Gay Relationships and Marital Conflict

What Makes Gay Relationships Succeed or Fail? Gay relationships have unique strengths and challenges. One of the questions Dr. Gottman and his research team were curious about was whether or not there

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Kitchen Sinking and Kitchen Thinking

Kitchen Sinking…The Problem of Old Resentments Gottman’s research tells us that effective complaining is a learned skill. There is one verbal habit that comes naturally that we need to correct

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Repair Your Relationship in 6 Steps

How to Repair Your Relationship Repair your relationship by re-building trust. Day by day, interaction by interaction. Gottman’s research tells us the quality and resilience of the Friendship System

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The Sound Relationship House Revisited

The Sound Relationship House One Story at a Time What is the Sound Relationship House? It seems that you can’t find a Gottman trained blogger or Gottman “informed” therapist website which

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Marital Complaints and Disco Balls

Can Marital Complaints Lead to Intimacy? Marital complaints are a frequent topic in couples therapy. How to make them, what they mean, etc., etc. In a recent post, I described how learning to repair during

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Introducing the Coming of “Fight Club”

Those who know marketing warned me to pre-sell it, because they "just can't see it." Technical people think the logistics will be a nightmare.But no matter.​You can't keep a good idea down.  As

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Stay Stuck in Couples Therapy in 11 Easy Steps

Couples Therapy is for Chumps. Stay Stuck Instead. You want to stay stuck in couples therapy but you don’t know how? Let’s face it. Couples Therapy is just a giant pain in the ass. They flat

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Empathy, Sympathy, and Marital Conflict

Why Sympathy Doesn’t Work and Empathy Does. When our spouse is pleased with us… happy…connected then empathy is a breeze. But particularly if you’re male, it’s more challenging

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