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Category Archives for How to Fight Fair

What is a Mulligan in Golf And How Can I Have a Mulligan in Marriage?

What is a Mulligan in Golf and Why Should a You Want a Mulligan in Your Marriage? Revised 12/23/19 What is a mulligan in golf? According to Wiki, a mulligan is a second chance to perform an action. Usually,

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Here’s How to Make a Softened Start-Up

The Importance of Softened Start-Up Revised 12/31/19 A softened start-up is perhaps the most essential part of making a valid complaint to your partner. John Gottman’s 1999 study, Predicting Divorce

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Parents Fighting Effect on Child: Research Says Worse than We Thought

This article is part of the Why Couples Fight SeriesDecades of Research About Parents Fighting in Front of the KidsKids may not seem to hear you when you tell them to eat their vegetables, but when

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Accepting Influence and Criticism…The Earlier You Work on this the Better.

The Importance of Accepting Influence Gottman says the 65% of American men are incapable of accepting influence. This is a staggering number, as I mentioned in earlier posts when high double digits show

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Another Fight About Nothing

A couple is in the supermarket. The husband is walking past the vegetable section, and is approaching his wife, who has been on another isle. W: (sounding annoyed) Aren’t you going to pick up

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Negative Sentiment Override: Why it all feels so Hopeless

Is Your Relationship “Hopeless?” It really feels that way for most of my couples, and I can tell you why: It’s called “Negative Sentiment Override” (NSO). It’s when

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3 Relationship Mistakes You’re Probably Making Right Now

“Happy Families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” —Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina, Chapter 1, first line, Russian mystic novelist (1828-1910) It turns out that

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Defensiveness in Marriage: “It’s Not My Fault…it’s YOUR FAULT!”

We are all guilty of it. Defensiveness is often seen in even the best of relationships. Our partner raises an issue with us they would like us to address, and it shoots straight into our hearts. Instead

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Stop Gottman’s Four Horsemen from Ruining Your Marriage

Gottman’s research has shown that there are some patterns of interaction in a relationship that are very destructive to love: the four things that really destroy marriages.

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