Retreats: In The Berkshires for
Greater Marital Happiness
One weekend to renew your love and resolve your most painful relationship challenges.
- "Fighting? Yes, and over the stupidest things, in front of the previous therapist, who just sat there.."
- "No, not a lot a lot of fighting. It's just really cold between us...like roommates."
- "Sex? No, that never came up, and I wish it did. We weren't having any, or talking about it anywhere."
Hi, I'm Dr K. Our couples counselors and doctoral psychologists provide science-based help for troubled marriages. A single weekend can transform your relationship.
The Tools We Use Predict Divorce With Over 90% Accuracy!
These findings span 40+ years of research with over 3,000 couples. They've taught us remarkable things...like a predictable pattern of marital decline. We'll motivate you to take action, focus on what's wrong, and show you how to change it FAST. It's personally tailored to just you two. It makes a huge difference to the way you love.
Not all "retreats" are the same! Some teach you general information in large groups. Others focus on religious principles. Some are held in exotic places led by people with no credentials as all! And almost none do assessment before you come. They only learn about you while you're there!
Here's how we do it: We think it's more respectful to get a lot of information from you before you come. Then, our skilled couples therapists can score and interpret your every word to know what to ask when they see you.
Need "One Last Shot Couples Therapy?"
Have you made plans to leave, consulted an attorney, or even filed for divorce? If you keep hoping that maybe “one last shot” of couples therapy with someone who knows what they've doing might make a difference, you're right. It really could.
If you're asking yourself: "Could we work again with the right therapist?" the answer is a resounding "YES!"
We see it all the time. We work with hostile couples, ones that keep separate bedrooms, have moved out, or have stopped talking to one another. Marriages with little babies or grown children. Even newlyweds, engaged couples or those with no intention of ever getting married. Sometimes our clients are approaching retirement, but can't take it anymore... If nothing changes, they aren't prepared to stay unhappy like this 'until death do us part.'
There're a lot of myths out there about troubled marriage:
A BIG ONE is About Divorce:
The severity of your problems don't predict divorce. No matter how bad it is, you can be happily marriage again, according to the research. The marital endurance ethic plays a big role. These are couples who stubbornly outlast their problems. Five years later, many sources of conflict and distress have eased.
The 'Bully' and His Bride: The End of Turmoil...
One wife agreed to come to the Marital Retreat only after I promised not to 'push her into staying' in her marriage. They had been to over 4 counselors in the past 18 years, and none of them had helped.
Family and friends told them they just weren't "suited for each other." (...of course HIS friends sided with him, and HER friends sided with her...)
But everyone agreed: "You two should divorce!" (...except their kids...)
They were in Divorce Mediation when they arrived. I told her "You should really know how to stand up to him, or you probably shouldn't be in mediation." So her goal for the marriage retreat was to learn to stand up to a man who she described as "a big bully."
The husband, on the other hand, was really shaken to the core when he arrived. Like many powerful and successful men he had no idea why she left, except that they couldn't stop fighting. He had his complains about her, but his biggest goal was to just fix it. He wanted his wife to come home and he wanted to stop the endless battles.
In their State of the Union Assessment they told me their early love story. It was full of trials and tribulation, like most of our couples. But it also was full of passion! These two were survivors, personally, and as a couple. Horrors of ex's, financial setbacks, kids' problems, you name it...and through it all, they had stayed together...until now.
This couple was still in love!
They Didn't Know How They Made It Worse...
So They Couldn't Figure Out How to Make It Better
Their previous therapists would listen and try to give them advice. But no one had taught them how to act differently or why: "Here's what you are doing, and if you keep doing it, the science says that it will be hard to exit this divorce highway. Let's work on how to change things around..."
- "You, Sir, have to change your worldview. You are the boss at your job, but you have to change your approach at home." No one told him he was being emotionally abusive. He honestly didn't realize it! As I said, he loved his wife and he wanted to keep his family intact.
- "You, Madam, have to keep your cool. When you flood, you stop thinking clearly and lose not only your clarity, but your nerve." She realized she "gave up" when he started to raise his voice. He scared her, and that dynamic had to stop. She was no longer going to just acquiesce to what he said, but she also wasn't sure how to stand up to him in a calm, even way.
It's Not "Just Our Opinion"
- Our work is a detailed, science-based approach to what you're doing wrong and how to change it.
Step-by-step assessment leads to rational, logical, science-based interventions. You'll spend the equivalent of 2 months over the weekend practicing these new skills! - We videotape you discussing a disagreement.
We know fights don't cause divorce. Escalating fights do. Or fear of having disagreements. We analyze your video, to provide you concrete examples of what's not working, and how to change it. - Anger and sadness are both emotions.
And emotions have everything to do with effective couples therapy. Evidence-based Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy complements Gottman's science-based assessment approach.
We Radically Stop a Couple's Fast-Moving Train
to Greater Misery or Divorce...
It's more than a year later, and The Bully and the Bride who were "doomed to divorce" are happy together again. She moved back in, and is delighted to be there. Their family and friends don't talk badly about their spouse anymore, because they don't allow it! They're a team. And they still do have fights. A fair number of them.
Both
know how to fight without escalating it. She sets limits. He accepts influence. They work collaboratively because they know what they are doing and why when they disagree. And now it doesn't get out of control.
You Can Spend Over 5 Months in Weekly Therapy and Get Nowhere...
Or you can condense that time into a single intensive marriage retreat week-end. Like The Bully & The Bride, we'll start with a thorough assessment we call a "State of the Union." It's done online and then in person. It will take you hours to complete. We will give you the "the good, the bad, and the ugly" news about your relationship.
It's expensive because it works.
We Compete with Divorce Attorneys.
Their job is to help you end it. Ours is to help you mend it.
Most marriages can go in either direction when they are in trouble. Are you ready to mend it with the help of an expert?
In one prominent study, 66% of currently divorced couples answered "Yes" to the question:
"Looking back, do you wish you and your ex-spouse had tried harder to work through your differences?"
Only 25% of divorcing couples seek out professional help of any kind to rescue their relationship. The ones that do, go an average of only 4 sessions. Even worse, it's most likely that they saw an "All Purpose Therapist" for a 50 minute session...just long enough to start a fight, but not enough time to move through it.
That's not evidence-based treatment...
When Impacted by Marital Heartache Turn to Us.
We are: Couples Therapy Inc.
We're a group of the best trained couples therapists across the USA (..and in Europe, too.)
Our passion is helping couples.
Our Massachusetts clinicians are top in their field. They supervise, teach, or write books. One is a legend, winning numerous awards, and publishing four books. The American Psychological Association gave Dr. Ham an award for "Outstanding Lifetime Achievement." We've coaxed her out of retirement to help a limited number of couples each year.
We totally immerse ourselves in understanding you and your marriage. We feel it is more respectful to thoroughly understand you both, before we intervene. And our powerful credentials let you know we really get it.
All of us have written for professional journals, books, or articles for the general public. All three of us have run graduate programs...and one carries the rare distinction of "Gottman Certified Couples Therapist."
- We're Top in Our Profession.
We have run graduate programs in psychology or Marriage and Family Therapy in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire. - You Are Working with Experienced Clinicians.
We each have 30+ years of experience in helping troubled relationships. - We Bring This Expertise Into the Therapy Office.
Effective science-based approaches using Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy in addition to a science-based approach to your assessment.
Dr. Kathy McMahon is the President of Couples Therapy Inc. She is a board-certified sex therapist, a Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and a Gottman-certified couples therapist.
Dr. Maryanna Ham is a Fellow in the American Psychological Association. This is a distinction bestowed for outstanding lifetime achievement in the field. Her professional books and articles are required reading in the field of Marriage & Family Therapy.
Dr. Patricia Gorman is a published scholar and a prior Director of two Marriage and Family Therapy Programs. She currently serves as an Executive Board member for the Massachusetts Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
What Our Clients Say About Our Effectiveness
“We were actively considering divorce...”
I am writing to express my/our deep appreciation for our work with our therapist at Couples Therapy Inc. We are a married couple of 24 years, and have been actively considering divorce for the past several months. As a last ditch effort, we let go of our previous marriage therapist and began working with you, first in 3 sessions online, and then in an intensive. Our therapist has been an extraordinary support for both of us. Her style is both structured and flexible. I appreciated that she listened exceedingly well. She brings evidence-based research into the mix. Perhaps most of all, she is optimistic, thought not in an unrealistic way. She has been instrumental in helping us develop new patterns of communication and engagement.
We are very, very grateful.
“I was skeptical heading into the weekend but now I am so glad that we did it....”
“We have seen numerous therapist over the last three years and you have by far exceeded all of our expectations. I got there on Friday with a lot of anger over our situation. By the time we left Sunday afternoon I felt free.
Our therapist had a very nice way of not taking sides yet giving good strong comments and thought-provoking scenarios. She absolutely knew us when we got there and often referred to our history. She was extraordinarily easy to talk to and also has a nice sense of humor.
She gave us practical tools to use when I was very upset and we left with a new vision of our future and tools to use to improve our communication.
I was skeptical heading into the weekend but now I am so glad that we did it.”
“It's been the sweetest month I've ever had in our marriage...”
“For a long time, I had so many doubts as to whether we could make this work. I spent most of my marriage not knowing it could be as rich as this last month as been. I felt the "switch,"and it's like living in sunshine instead of shadows.
My husband and I haven't had a fight in months, even while navigating normally very tense waters including dealing with our families, and even buying a house! They've turned into discussions.
Dr. K, I'm not kidding, it's been the sweetest month I've ever had in our marriage. I know that we'll hit plenty of bumps ahead. But for the first time in a long time, it feels like my teammate, my partner has shown up.
So this email is simply to say "thank you." Thank you for giving us the tools, and the hope that things would change if we wanted them to. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for giving me my husband back, and for listening when we were at our rock bottom.
Choose highly trained specialists with demonstrated Couples Therapy Skills.
Save time by completing "The BIG BIG Book" Online Assessment.
Gain a thorough understanding of your destructive patterns...
Massachusetts is just one of our locations. You can also schedule a Marriage Retreat in Maryland / DC; Las Vegas, Nevada; Los Angeles, California; Houston or Austin Texas; Missoula, Montana; Boca Raton, Florida; Atlanta, Georgia; Charleston, South Carolina; Overland Park, Kansas; Madison, Wisconsin; Blaine, Washington; San Juan, Puerto Rico in Europe (Ireland), Australia, and South Africa.
Kathy McMahon, Psy.D.
President of Couples Therapy Inc.
One of 200 Gottman Certified Couples Therapist,
Board Certified Sex Therapist
From the President
"I review over 1,000 resumes each year, searching the globe for the most qualified couples therapists.
It's remarkably hard to find exceptional talent.
Many therapists (80%) believe they are already skilled at providing couples therapy.
The reality is alarming: less than 12% who claim to be "couples therapists" have
taken
even
a
single
course in couples therapy. I look for certifications and specialized training before I hire, and a dedication to helping couples. Certifications mean proven skill."
If Your Relationship is Thriving, Go to an Inexpensive Psycho-educational Retreat
There are Cheaper Alternatives Out There
Who We Work With and Who We Don't
These retreats, run by expert psychologists and couples counselors, target particular couples:
Who's Appropriate
- Couples in moderate to severe levels of relationship distress.
- Couples who are actively willing to work on their marriage/relationship.
- Couples who have good reasons to stay married, but are ambivalent.
- Couples who are emotionally dysregulated (loud fighting, shouting, emotional outbursts, crying), or are struggling in the aftermath of an affair.
- Couples who are disconnected, distant, asexual, or cold.
- Those who are unhappily living together, or separated.
Who's Not
- Couples who have ongoing physical violence between them.
- Couples with one partner who is actively drug or alcohol addicted and in need of in-patient care.
- When an active and untreated mental illness is destroying your marriage.
- When an affair was only discovered within the last week. Fresh disclosures are often too stressful for intensive work.
- When in an undisclosed affair (see us for Discernment Counseling, instead...)
- Couples where one partner refuses to complete the assessment ahead of time.
A Brief Look at This Intensive Couples Retreat in the
Berkshires of Western Massachusetts
- Friday Evening Warm-up - 6-8 pm (unless otherwise scheduled)
- Saturday Morning - Videotaping & Individual Interviews - 9:30 - Noon
-
Saturday Afternoon - Feedback Session and Start of Treatment - 1:30-4:30 PM
- Sunday Morning - Check in and Treatment Continues - 9:30 AM - Noon
- Sunday Afternoon - Intensive focus on Key Problem Areas - 1:15- 4:15 PM
- Late Sunday - Wrap-up and Feedback - 4:15-4:30 PM
Frequently Asked Questions
How quickly can our Retreat be scheduled?
What do we have to do before we meet?
Can we talk to our therapist beforehand?
Will insurance pay for this?
Which airports to Western Massachusetts?
Who can we talk to for more information?
P.S. These retreats are in high demand and offered on a first come, first reserved basis. We can't hold your retreat without payment.
Could this make a huge difference in your marriage?
Don't put it off.