The new year is approaching, and this past year has been challenging for many people. Despite its highs and lows, 2023 allowed people to spend time with their loved ones. Many couples needed to continue to work from home. That added closeness called for an extra dose of creativity, compromise, and (truly) patience.

Now, you have a fresh opportunity,, and the two of you can make the coming year more exciting. This year,, more than ever,, we look forward to a fresh start and a change of pace as the new year approaches. Making up your mind for something better in 2024 is the first step to success. We recommend using the couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet.

When you write your couple’s New Year’s resolutions, challenge yourself to think about what your relationship can look like next year. You and your partner can strengthen your bond and refresh your relationship in 2024. Our couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet (download at the bottom) will take you one step closer.

We start the journey towards 2024 from different places. Perhaps this has been a challenging year for your marriage. Others have found more closeness as their schedules (and commutes) drastically shifted. Regardless of where you are, spend some time discussing what you want your “couple goals” to be for 2024.

There is a printable New Year’s resolution worksheet at the bottom of this article to walk you through that process.

We put together nine excellent ideas to get you started. These couple’s New Year’s resolutions will help you and your significant other find a stronger bond and a better 2024.

1. Become a better listener

At the start of your relationship, you were probably terrific listeners. You did not know your partner, so you hung onto every word. You were constantly gathering new and interesting information. Now, you know each other pretty well; perhaps you’ve even listened to that story at least ten times. Somewhere along the line, couples forget to listen to each other

Resolve to become a better listener in this new year. Adopt an attitude of curiosity. Listen to understand and not to react.

What makes good listening? Practice eye contact (maybe physical contact, too) and silence distractions. If you have found yourselves drifting quite a bit, start by scheduling time to listen. Set aside time on the couch (TV off, phones away) where the two of you can just talk.

Our relationship experts have great tips on keeping the conversation going. Here are some of my favorites: Before you respond to your partner, try asking, “Is there more?” Another tip is to summarize what your partner just told you as you heard it and check in: ” Did I understand that right?”

If becoming a better listener is your couple’s New Year’s resolution, there are excellent books on the subject. Research and see if you can make listening your superpower in 2024. Being a better listener is likely to help in many different facets of your life; this is a New Year’s intention worth setting. As you walk through the exercises outlined in the couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet, you’ll have opportunities to practice listening immediately.

2. Plan weekly dates

You can set aside time every week for a special time with your favorite person. By committing to this ritual, you lower your stress from the weekly hardships. Dates help you bond even more as you put all the distractions aside and dedicate time to your loved ones.

Date nights might sometimes pose a unique challenge, but there are still plenty of ways to create memories together. You can order takeout, spread a blanket on the floor, and have a picnic. You can also go for a drive and check out holiday decorations. (When the weather is nice, you can get some landscaping inspiration.)

If this seems too much right away, set your New Year’s resolution for planning bi-weekly or monthly dates. Consider alternating who is “responsible” for planning them. Perhaps your partner plans one first, then it’s your turn, and then you plan one together. Don’t let perfection get in the way of the good–there are weeks when binge-watching a show on Netflix will be just what the two of you need!

3. Express your feelings more often

Are you someone who struggles to express your feelings? Perhaps this is the year you challenge yourself to communicate more clearly with your partner about how important they are to you. Get creative, but challenge yourself to share affectionate, warm feelings daily.

You need to mean what you are saying. Tell them how you feel about them and love spending time with them. Describe how you feel when you talk to them. Write a poem and stick it on the refrigerator. When you return home from work, bring flowers and discuss how you feel when you are not with each other. Send a short, sweet text when you think of them, even if you are in the other room.

4. Learn something new together

Learn something new about the world and each other. Shared activities require coordination, collaboration, and teamwork. You’ll learn much about each other as you learn a new skill.

Set a challenge to cook a new meal together 2 times each week. You’ll increase your cooking skills and you will get to know your partner’s cooking skills. This combines nicely with New Year’s resolution number 2–date nights and cooking nights go well together.

If you love to read, read a book together. If it’s podcasts, listen to them separately and then discuss when you are together. Exploring new activities together will give you more things to talk about and will build upon your shared memories.

5. Discover each other’s goals and support them

This one might be the most important one on the list and it strays a bit from the theme of “couple’s New Year’s resolutions.” Each of you will sit down and write 2-3 goals that you have personally for the New Year. Now, write down some steps that you can take that will move you closer to these goals.

The important part of this exercise is exchanging lists with your partner. See if you can support their goals in a couple of ways. You might be able to help them achieve their goals, but even if you can’t, you must know what their highest goals are for this year. This exercise is outlined in the New Year’s resolution worksheet at the bottom.

A very important note–check-in with your partner before offering support. Let them know what you think, but see if they find that helpful. My goal may be to “eat healthier,” but that doesn’t mean I want my husband’s opinion on what I eat (I am sure you can imagine how that might go terribly wrong.) However, I would love his help doing a little food prep on Sunday nights. We can play music, talk about the coming week, and chop some veggies together!

6. Get intimate…for 6 seconds

Cuddling is great medicine! Physical contact is essential for our sense of connection and emotional bonds. Try replacing the quick “hello” peck with a real kiss or hug as you and your partner go about your busy days. Experts recommend six full seconds. A six-second kiss or embrace revs up intimacy and arousal.

Commit to this practice as much as possible–they may just be the best six seconds of your day. You can get creative when incorporating this into your couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet plan.

7. Learn about flooding and stay mindful

Self-care is more than just a buzzword. It is critical in uncertain times that call for flexibility and patience. If adopting self-care practices is not on your personal list of New Year’s resolutions, it should be. Take a moment to think about ways to take care of yourself this year.

What does this mean for your relationship’s New Year’s resolutions?

Think about ways that you and your partner can connect calmly. Notice the triggers and the signs that you are being overwhelmed.

Read a bit more about flooding on our blog, and take a time out when you feel yourself getting heated. On the couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet, there is a space to note what things could get in your way–address these stumbling blocks here.

8. Have fun together

Another twist on the date night is to commit to playing games together each week. My husband and I had a running Gin Rummy game that went on for months, and we just kept tallying it up each time we played. Game nights can be a fun part of your rituals and a great way to connect without electronic distractions. Consider a date box subscription if you need some fresh ideas. There are many fantastic options out there.

9. Check in on your relationship

Even the strongest marriages sometimes need support, and our relationships have been through quite a lot in 2021. Some relationship problems can be particularly troubling for marriages. Commit to working on these issues, and if you need to, get the support of one of our relationship experts. And make a plan (like the one we outline in the couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet.)

Get started with your couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet

Use the list above to get started on your couple’s New Year’s resolutions, and download the couple’s New Year’s resolution worksheet to work them out together. Taking time to discuss these questions together is a lovely way to start a new year.

Enter this next year knowing that whatever 2024 has in store, you have your partner by your side.

Have a lovely holiday season and a Happy New Year from the team at Couples Therapy Inc.