In the intricate dance of human connections, culture stands as the invisible architect shaping our beliefs, behaviors, and relationships. When delving into the realm of culture, seven distinct dimensions emerge, each illuminating facets that influence our perception of time, family dynamics, emotional expressions, power structures, and gender roles. For international couples, these dimensions become crucial lenses through which they navigate the rich tapestry of their multicultural lives, presenting both opportunities for connection and challenges of negotiation.

Cultural Dimensions Unveiled: A Roadmap for International Couples

Culture isn't confined to static beliefs; it's a living entity that shapes our worldview. The seven dimensions—Time, Cosmic Origins, Family Dynamics, Emotional Expression, Interpersonal Relations, Patriarchy, and Gender Roles—serve as foundational pillars guiding our understanding of self and others within the intricate web of cultural interactions.

Cultural Differences in the Dimension of Time

Consider the dimension of Time—an element where cultural variances are stark. Western-European and Anglo-American cultures often prioritize a future-oriented perspective, emphasizing efficiency and progress. In contrast, traditional cultures cherish a present-oriented view, valuing the significance of the moment and focusing on restoration rather than incessantly chasing future goals. The diverse approaches to time appreciation, initially appealing in relationships, can later pose challenges, especially during significant life transitions like becoming empty nesters.

Impact on International Children: Navigating Cultural Identity

For international children, navigating cultural identity is a complex journey. They might align predominantly with one parent's dominant cultural or religious traits, potentially disregarding the heritage of the other parent. Patriarchy sometimes influences this dynamic, dictating the cultural dominance within the family structure. Some children grapple with embracing a dual heritage, while others reject cultural affiliations altogether, striving to carve their unique identity.

Cultural Patterns and Couple Dynamics: Honoring Shared Values

Understanding these cultural dimensions is pivotal for international couples, triggering discussions on managing differences while honoring shared values. Questions about language use, parenting strategies, and navigating time together arise, prompting couples to explore how their cultural backgrounds shape their perspectives and decisions.

International Children

Kids may become primarily identified with the parent with the dominant culture or religion. They may or may not chose to acknowledge their other parent's differing cultural identity. This issue of dominance and cultural identity is one of the areas where patriarchy sometimes wreaks havoc.

Or children may choose to identify with their minority parent because of abandonment issues, or cultural proxemics. They may avoid embracing a dual heritage, minimizing contact altogether with their other parent's religion or culture. But sometimes the marginalized parent's lack of influence is self-inflicted.

Universalist/Disaffiliates may refuse to accept any notion of cultural transmission, or they might choose to create their own. The challenge for these creative types (which typically emerge in the individuation struggles of adolescence) is that cultural assumptions generally lurk unseen in the corners of a young relationship. Couples may not behave as culturally unencumbered as they would like to be regarded.

Synthesizers are people who are somehow able to incorporate and integrate some version of their actual cultural legacy. The diverse parts need not be balanced, but they have a real acknowledgment of the importance of all of their cultural inheritance.

Understanding your cultural pattern along these seven dimensions might trigger a great discussion with your partner about theirs as well.

  • How will you and your partner manage differences and honor shared values? 
  • What languages will your children speak?
  • How will you both decide to move through time together?

Closing:

Culture, through its multifaceted dimensions, paints the canvas of our relationships, identities, and societal frameworks. For international couples, acknowledging and embracing these cultural distinctions become the cornerstone of harmonious coexistence. The seven dimensions offer a roadmap, guiding discussions, fostering understanding, and enabling couples to embrace the richness of their diverse backgrounds while navigating the intricate tapestry of cultural connection.

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Dr. Kathy McMahon


Dr. Kathy McMahon (Dr. K) is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. She is also the founder and president of Couples Therapy Inc. Dr. K feels passionate about couples therapy and sex therapy and holds a deep respect towards those who invest in making their relationship better. She is currently conducting online and in person private couples retreats.

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