Tag Archives for " marriage counseling questions "

Thought-Stopping for Hurt Partners

The Perils of Rumination In an earlier post, I have discussed the idea that obsession and rumination by a hurt partner are the first major stumbling blocks to affair recovery.  In order for Hurt Partners

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The Art of the Apology

What is the art of the apology? Does science offer any bedrock of data about what constitutes an effective apology between intimate partners? “Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry“ 

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Borderlines in Couples Therapy

Borderlines in couples therapy can be very challenging. Many couples therapists dread working with clients suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an unfortunately

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Facebook Affairs

Facebook Affairs Facebook Affairs are becoming a very hot topic in social science research. A new study by researchers at the University of Indiana found that Facebook users who are in ostensibly “committed”

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Why Do Women Cheat?

 Why Do Women Cheat? Why do women cheat? I know someone who has an answer. Helen Fisher is an evolutionary anthropologist at Rutgers University. While not a couples therapist, Helen is an intriguing

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The Problem of Contempt in Couples Therapy

Contempt is the Worst of the Four Horsemen In previous posts, I have elaborated on four marital behaviors that John Gottman describes with the biblical metaphor, the Four Horsemen. They are Criticism,

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Should I Keep My Affair Secret?

Should I Keep My Affair Secret?…Maybe In therapy, Involved Partners  sometimes ask “Should I keep my affair secret?” It’s fashionable for untrained all-purpose couples therapists

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3 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Forgiveness After an Affair

Forgiveness After an Affair Some all-purpose therapists have pretty quaint notions about forgiveness after an affair. They think that if an affair is disclosed or discovered, the Involved Partner must

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How Could He Do This To Me?

How Could He Do This To Me?…The Crisis of the Hurt Partner In the aftermath of the disclosure or discovery of an affair, most couples are overwhelmed by pain, rage, and guilt. As one of the intake

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Children of Infidelity

Children of Infidelity One of the greatest social fallacies of family life is what I call the Fallacy of Parental Omniscience. Parents often debate about what children should be told about sensitive issues,

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