Tag Archives for " does couples therapy work? "

Dealing With Infidelity…The Twin Tasks of Affair Recovery

Dealing With Infidelity By Undertaking the Twin Tasks of Affair Recovery   When it comes to dealing with infidelity, I think Gottman said it best: “Atonement cannot occur if the cheater insists

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Reframing Your Marital Problem

Reframing Your Marital Problem I don’t care what kind of couples therapy you do, you will be eventually be invited by your therapist to start reframing your marital problem. Why is reframing your

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The Problem of Contempt in Couples Therapy

Contempt is the Worst of the Four Horsemen In previous posts, I have elaborated on four marital behaviors that John Gottman describes with the biblical metaphor, the Four Horsemen. They are Criticism,

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3 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Forgiveness After an Affair

Forgiveness After an Affair Some all-purpose therapists have pretty quaint notions about forgiveness after an affair. They think that if an affair is disclosed or discovered, the Involved Partner must

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How Could He Do This To Me?

How Could He Do This To Me?…The Crisis of the Hurt Partner In the aftermath of the disclosure or discovery of an affair, most couples are overwhelmed by pain, rage, and guilt. As one of the intake

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Children of Infidelity

Children of Infidelity One of the greatest social fallacies of family life is what I call the Fallacy of Parental Omniscience. Parents often debate about what children should be told about sensitive issues,

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Split-Self Affairs

Split-Self Affairs… a Familiar Pattern in Popular Culture There have been many names given to Split-Self Affairs in research literature; Double-Life Affair, Divided-Self Affair, etc. This is an archetypal

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The Intimacy-Avoidance Couple Affair

Intimacy-Avoidance Couple Affair…Connecting through Conflict The Intimacy-Avoidant Couples Affair resembles the Conflict-Avoidant Couples affair in that the problem is inherently systemic. The overarching

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Dr. Wolfe Tells Us….What Best Predicts Marital Satisfaction?

What Predicts Marital Satisfaction? In a previous post, I discussed how the question of “what predicts marital satisfaction?” has been carefully researched and analyzed. One of the most comprehensive

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Gottman Research Describes 5 Kinds of Couples

Gottman’s Research…Which Couple are You? Dr. John Gottman has been conducted research on couples for over 40 years. As a result of Gottman’s research in the love lab, he has categorized

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