The following are just some of the positive things that our clients are saying about us. We are delighted to be of help to so many couples.
We were on the brink of divorce and had trust, infidelity, communication, partnership issues. My husband thought we couldn't possibly benefit from just three days. Marisa was down to earth, genuine, kind, nonjudgmental, a good listener, creative, funny, sincere, caring, compassionate. I feel like she was truly partnering with us to save our relationship. She showed that she cared about us early on and seemed to have a vested interest in seeing us succeed together and to learn to love each other better than we ever thought was possible.
I had given up hope that we would ever be able to connect or communicate. I didn't think it would be possible to ever truly be happy in this marriage.
Yes, and it was a miserable waste of time. It seemed to do more damage than anything.
Yes. I was afraid to dare to hope for improvement again, only to be devastated yet again with failure. The biggest change was finally being able to gain insight into why my husband behaves the way he does. He never could communicate his feelings at all, let alone in a way that I could understand. I did not believe he was capable of empathy or at the least, communicating without judgment. He is actually trying to learn how to listen now. I have finally been able to see my shortcomings [as well] and I have tools to work through them.
Dr. Smithey. He is excellent. He has a great ability to empathize with each spouse while also staying objective. I felt he was truly supportive and sincerely cared about our commitment to heal our marriage. His approach to couples therapy is refreshing.
Most definitely yes, I recommend him and Couples Therapy Inc. This couples intensive has given us hope that we never had and tools to help us toward a better, happier future.
Thank you for this needed service. I wish more people would consider at least a marriage tune-up every couple years.
We thought it might be nice for you to get some feedback on our retreat with Angela. Both my husband and I thought she was excellent. We have seen numerous therapist over the last three years and she by far exceeded all of our expectations. I got there on Friday with a lot of anger over our situation. By the time we left Sunday afternoon I felt free. She had a very nice way of not taking sides yet giving good strong comments and thought-provoking scenarios. She absolutely knew us when we got there and often referred to our history.
She gave us practical tools to use for when I was very upset which included meditation, favorite songs, my partner holding me tight (with a safe word if I did not want that), breathing devices and apps to download. We had struggled with much pain and anger for almost 10 months and by the time we left we felt almost normal again with a new vision of our future and tools to use to improve our communication. Her own experience and having gone through a similar situation was also nice for me in particular. She was extraordinarily easy to talk to and also has a nice sense of humor.
I was skeptical heading into the weekend but now I am so glad that we did it.
On a scale of 1-10, we were a 3.
We had tried weekly sessions, a long time ago, with little luck.
The core issue for me was to find a better way to resolve contentious issues between us.
Frankly, there were very few reviews of CTI online, but I liked the plan for the weekend, and the communication beforehand with Max was helpful and inspired confidence.
Max was very diligent about using our time to the utmost and made excellent decisions about how to get past our personal resistances.
He showed great insight into the linchpin issues. I believe we have much better ways to resolve issues now, and I have much better hope for our future as a couple.
We're very happy we undertook the program. We were lucky to have an excellent therapist... We're grateful.
Thanks Dr. R! It was a great marriage retreat weekend and we are so grateful for all you did for us! We will get on our homework and schedule a follow-up soon. Again, many thanks for helping us with your approach and care!
We tried couples therapy several years ago, but it was not successful.
Yes. Not knowing if therapy would truly help us at the stage we were in - in our marriage.
The core issue of our marriage was discovered and we were able to shed light on it and are now able to approach the issue together. Us against the issue. Daniel approached things head on (with care) - in a way we both could understand and there was no room for doubt on what the issue was and how we need to overcome it. Daniel made us feel comfortable and left us with the feeling of truly being able to take on whatever comes our way.
Absolutely! Daniel is very knowledgeable in his area of expertise and knows the most appropriate way to communicate an action plan and build encouragement. 1) We walked away knowing we should not face things as us against each other, but rather us against the problem. 2) I got my best friend back. 3) Vulnerabilities were revealed, but I feel safe in them now.
Thank you for helping me communicate my vulnerabilities and not feel ashamed of them or concerned I will come across as a weak person for having vulnerabilities. Thank you for pointing out our incredible strengths together. Thank you for being such an incredible part of our healing process.
I am writing to express my/our deep appreciation for Nancy St. John. We are a married couple of 24 years and have been actively considering divorce for the past several months. As a last ditch effort, we let go of our previous marriage therapist and began working with Nancy, first in 3 sessions online, and then an intensive in Ireland. She has been an extraordinary support for both of us. Her style is both structured and flexible. She listens exceedingly well. She brings evidence-based research into the mix. Perhaps most of all, she is optimistic, though not in an unrealistic way. She has been instrumental in helping us develop new patterns of communication and engagement.
We are very, very grateful.
Dr. Gorman, I wanted to thank you again for this past weekend. I was anxious going into the weekend knowing it would be a difficult one, and it was. But I don't think we could have selected a better therapist. You put me at ease from the first evening we were together. I appreciated how thorough you were going through our Big Big Book. I am amazed at how many times you referenced something we said or a family member we talked about by name.
Your genuine interest/concern for us came through very clearly to me. It made me feel very comfortable and able to express the things I haven't been able to previously. I learned a lot about myself and how I chose the path I did (even though sub-consciously in many ways).
I am also grateful for the tools you gave us to help communicate more effectively. I do believe that my partner and I have both tried really hard and we are both good people. Although he and I are still struggling with how to act around one another, I am hopeful we will work together to improve that.
Our departure on Sunday from your office felt very sudden (although I knew our time was winding down). We were also so emotionally drained at that point, I didn't feel I gave you a proper goodbye. I really want you to know how much I appreciate everything you did for us.
My husband and I both agreed on our ride home (regardless of the outcome of our relationship/marriage) that we were glad we went.
I spent most of my marriage not knowing it could be as rich as this last month as been. I felt the "switch," over this last month, and it's felt like living in sunshine instead of shadows. My husband and I haven't had a fight in months, even while navigating normally very tense waters including dealing with our families, and even buying a house! They've turned into discussions....
Dr. K, I'm not kidding, it's been the sweetest month I've ever had in our marriage. I know that we'll hit plenty of bumps ahead, but for the first time in a long time, it feels like my teammate, my partner, has shown up.
So this email is simply to say "thank you." Thank you for giving us the tools, and the hope that things would change if we wanted them to. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for giving me my husband back, and for listening when we were at our rock bottom."
1. I am a better communicator with my wife
2. I know when to disengage from overheated situations
3. I have a deeper understanding of why I have done the things I've done.
"Feeling heard, having tools, trusting each other more..."
"We have the skills for coping when I get crazy angry. We are talking better. I realize if I criticize him he's only going to get defensive so I use my words carefully! Also, that how you speak to someone makes a difference in the results you get. We use the results of how well we know each other and where we scored as a couple to help us also in seeing that we still have enough left in this relationship to work on it."
"My husband has torn down the walls of defensiveness, combativeness, and manipulation. We are working on re-establishing trust, connecting through different communication tools, and have a common goal of wanting to have a marriage worth our happiness. I feel free. We both feel like we don't have to pretend or hide anymore - We have been able to talk about any and everything this week and it feels so freeing."
1) We walked away knowing we should not face things as us against each other, but rather us against the problem.
2) I got my best friend back.
3) Vulnerabilities were revealed, but I feel safe in them now.
(1) I have hope; (2) I have real tools to use, and; (3) a structured strategy to work on our marriage.
"Life changing, earth shattering, amazing changes --- I am not kidding when I say this absolutely hands down saved our marriage, saved our lives... I was so unhappy and I am looking at the world differently, knowing I have a partner with me in this life that I once felt so alone in... We have a lot of work to do -- but we are both committed to this and following through with the changes ... I cannot believe that this had such an immediate impact on us and I am forever forever grateful. I will be recommending you to any of my friends or family that ever is faced with some serious relationship troubles..."
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ---Mignon McLaughlin
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“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. ---Zig Ziglar