Recover from the pain of infidelity and become stronger than before.

A guide to help you both heal.

Learn how an affair can be more than a marriage killer. It could be a crisis that transforms your marriage into a  deeper, more honest bond.

Learn how.

About the Author

Daniel P. Dashnaw, MS, MA, MFT is a marriage and family therapist and specializes in the "pervasive traumas of life:" painful affairs, developmental trauma, sex addictions and angry, fighting couples.  He conducts his couples therapy online and in an intensive retreat format.

He has advanced training in The Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, and the Developmental Model of helping couples.

He is Editor of an award-winning  Blog and is an Intake Coordinator ​at Couples Therapy Inc.

Course Content


In this ebook you will learn
  • Chapter 1

  • CHAPTER 2

  • CHAPTER 3

  • chapter 4

  • chapter 5

  • CHAPTER 6

  • CHAPTER 7

Chapter 6:  Recovering from infidelity

Thought-Stopping

It’s sort of therapeutic gospel to assume that discovering that your partner is having an affair is a traumatic experience. I prefer to think of that more as a useful lie. Within a paradigm of trauma, we see three distinct behaviors from the hurt partner; hyper- vigilance, triggering and flashbacks, and what one researcher describes as “an obsessive need to hear the story.”

Helping a couple to heal from infidelity requires working with them to resolve the great irony of affair recovery.

The perpetrator must become the healer.

This is why I call it a useful lie.

Neuro-science tells us that for about a year after revelation, the Hurt Partner may experience profound mood changes, declines in physical health, and cognitive impairments.

Post-traumatic reactions tend to fall into three categories:  hyper-arousal, intrusion, and constriction.

Learning how to cope with these reactions and taking constructive action can help.​