The BIG BIG Book of Intimate Relationships

The BIG BIG Book isn’t a fun “compatibility test” you take in 5 minutes. It’s a thorough assessment that examines your relationship, from a scientific point of view. It is like a road map used at the start of a long trip. A clinical road map tells you where you're going, and what the goals are. We take the time to carefully look at your answers.  Learn more below about what this assessment is, and how we use it.

Dr. Gorman, I appreciated how thorough you were going through our BIG BIG Book.  I am amazed at how many times you referenced something we said or a family member we talked about by name."    ~ Recent Client

How Do I Make an Appointment to take The BIG BIG Book?

The BIG BIG Book is an integral part of a thorough and comprehensive assessment process, or what we call a "State of the Union." You'll receive your link to the BIG BIG Book once the assessment or Marriage Retreat is set up and paid for.  Complete your own version online, without sharing your answers.

How Difficult Is It to Complete  The BIG BIG Book?

Educationally, anyone with a high school education will have no trouble completing this Consultation Tool. Those with advanced degrees often “over-think” it. Try not to. It's a snapshot of your relationship, your current perspective, right now, in your relationship.  That is what your therapist needs to understand.

The True/False Gottman forms are meant to be used clinically, as a guide to treatment, not as a measurement tool.

All of this takes time. Your time and our time. But when it is completed, we have a pretty clear picture of what is going on. We have a clinical road map for the type of work that will be helpful in improving your relationship.

Our clients find the entire process a helpful and clarifying one.

How Do I Complete the BIG BIG Book Compatibility Test?

We use a confidential online computer program –the same one used to conduct scientific research — when privacy is of utmost importance.

What Do Clinicians Do with It Once I Finish It?

We do a number of things. We score standardized instruments. The SCL-90R, for example, looks at issues such as anxiety and depressed. Depression interferes with a whole host of relationship problems like sexual functioning, and the ability to get along.   The Sexual Intimacy Scales, designed by Dr. McMahon, help us understand your sexual patterns and compatibility.

All of these many sources of information, along with material from the initial Couples Meeting, Individual Meetings, and our review of the 10-minute Videotaping segment, are integrated for the final Feedback Session.


Our clinicians go through hours of training, both in using the Gottman tools, and when joining Couples Therapy Inc, on how to understand the many assessment instruments that make up this BIG BIG Book.  No two couples are alike, and therefore each Book is equally unique.

How Long will I spend on the Compatibility Test?

This varies with the individual. For example, if you have no children, you jump over this section. 

Also, you don’t have to finish it in one sitting. Complete one page, then stop. You can come back whenever you have time. And if at any point, you would like to answer questions in person, you can do that too.

What are the Costs associated with The BIG BIG Book Compatibility Test?

There are no separate charges. The costs are integrated into your State of the Union or Couples Retreat fees.

How do I find out more about the State of the Union ?

Go here to learn more about the types is questions we ask.

How Quickly will I be able to get access to Compatibility tools?

Your link will be sent to you within 24 hours after receipt of payment.

If you don’t receive it, drop Ted a line:

What Else can be downloaded?

You will also find the following documents available to you:

  1. How to Teleconference with a Flair!
  2. Link to the Video Conference platform we use.
  3. If you are attending a retreat, you'll get directions to your Couples Therapist's office, and places to stay and eat locally.

If you haven’t already, you can read more about this "so much more than a" compatibility test HERE.

What can I Read while I’m waiting?

Lots. You can read articles on our Blog, or watch videos on our Knowledge Base page. This site is full of useful information for couples in distress.

Is this State of the Union Assessment Right for you?