Category Archives for Mental Health and Marriage

Gaslighting and Marital Conflict

What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a less subtle form of emotional abuse that seeks to control a partner through a pattern of over the top criticism and reality distortion. The term “Gaslighting”

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Mindful Practice in the Rain

Mindful Practice does not discriminate. It cools hot tempers and restores awareness. Rain does not discriminate either. It cools, refreshes and restores everyone. “RAIN” is also a well-known

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Confessions of a Passive-Aggressive Husband

I Confess… I am a Passive Aggressive Husband I have a confession to make. I am a passive-aggressive husband. I am not proud of it.  And, as a couples therapist, I am not particularly comfortable

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Borderlines in Couples Therapy

Borderlines in couples therapy can be very challenging. Many couples therapists dread working with clients suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an unfortunately

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Alexithymia and Marital Conflict

What is Alexithymia? Some people struggle when asked to explain or share and their emotions. This is a personality trait known as alexithymia. People with alexithymia can describe their physiological

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Emotional Abuse and Marital Conflict

A Working Definition of Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse is not the same thing as Domestic Violence. I think of emotional abuse as a combination of two of the Four Horsemen (Contempt and Criticism) standing

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Secure Attachment Poker… What’s in Your Hand?

Secure Attachment Style Poker… What Kind of Hand Were You Dealt? As we mentioned previously, your attachment style is your worldview of how you believe love and intimate relationships work. Attachment

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Stonewalling… the Story and the Science

Stonewalling… How it Begins. Perhaps you’ve had this experience. You are having a spirited debate with your husband. The temperature is beginning to rise. You’re becoming progressively

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Marital Satisfaction… Jagger was Right!

Marital Satisfaction… What is it? The 1990’s was a decade of widespread and impressive marital satisfaction research. I’ve been reading the macro-analytic overview of this decade of investigation

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New Research on Family Dinner

Family Meal Time… from Sacred to “Someday, Maybe….”. The 21st century is increasingly fast-paced and hectic. Strangely, an aspect of family life which was once sacred half a century

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