Category Archives for How to Save a Marriage

Love at First Fight

Love and Repair What do I mean by “Love at First Fight?” Learning to fight well and repair with skill is a fundamental undertaking in science-based couples therapy. When Gottman Institute researchers

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Money Can Buy Happiness!

Can Money Buy Happiness? Money can buy happiness. Let me say that again… Money Can Buy Happiness. Wait a minute. Everyone knows that money can’t buy happiness, and research in the late 1970’s

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Love and Poker

I came across this interesting post by Robert Dewberry at his blog, the Poker Monk.  Robert is a fascinating young man on the threshold of becoming a professional poker player. As a Couples Therapist,

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Dr. Wolfe Tells Us….What Best Predicts Marital Satisfaction?

What Predicts Marital Satisfaction? In a previous post, I discussed how the question of “what predicts marital satisfaction?” has been carefully researched and analyzed. One of the most comprehensive

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Marital Fight Autopsy…EFT Model

Emotionally-Focused Therapy and the Marital Fight Autopsy When it comes to marital fight dissection, evidence-based Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is by far the most relational model. At the risk of

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Marital Fight Autopsy…Developmental Model

The Developmental Model and the Marital Fight Autopsy In my internship, I studied a model of Couples Therapy called the Developmental Model. This model was developed during the 1980’s by husband

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Marital Fight Autopsy… Gottman Model

Marital Fight… Autopsy? Yes, I mean Autopsy. Let’s assume Dick and Jane had a marital fight which started on February 13th at 1:06 pm. There was the usual Groundhog Day back and forth that

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Tough Times Never Last… But Tough Couples Do!

You are Married for BETTER or Worse. Not BITTER and Worse. Tough Couples know that every marriage has difficult times. They see these times as an invitation for their best selves to show up. Bitter or

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How To Use Your Brain for a Change

How to Use Your Brain for a Change in Your Marriage After you have had some therapy, how do you imagine that you would want to talk to your partner? When you have participated in a couples therapy intensive,

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Softened Start Up: How it Starts is How it Ends

The Importance of Softened Start Up John Gottman’s 1999 study, Predicting Divorce among Newlyweds from the First Three Minutes of a Marital Conflict was a landmark event in couples therapy research.

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