Category Archives for How to Help Couples

3 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Forgiveness After an Affair

Forgiveness After an Affair Some all-purpose therapists have pretty quaint notions about forgiveness after an affair. They think that if an affair is disclosed or discovered, the Involved Partner must

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Relationships from Hell

First, the Anxious-Preoccupied Relationships from Hell The Important thing to remember is that we are all struggling to gain mastery over our childhood attachment injuries. We select partners who we feel

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Attachment Theory and Couples Therapy

Attachment Theory Brief Overview  Attachment Theory has become a deeply researched area of couples therapy. The fundamental premise of Attachment Theory is that we learned how to be a husband, or

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Why Is My Husband So Angry?

I Have an Angry Husband…Why? Why is my husband so angry? Here’s the bottom line. Men are different. When men are in a conflictual situation, they tend to get overwhelmed more easily than women,

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Why Is My Wife So Angry?

I Have An Angry Wife…Why? Research shows that if you have an angry wife, it’s probably a fight about nothing, but serious issues of power, fairness, and responsibility may lurk under the surface.

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Dr. Wolfe Tells Us….What Best Predicts Marital Satisfaction?

What Predicts Marital Satisfaction? In a previous post, I discussed how the question of “what predicts marital satisfaction?” has been carefully researched and analyzed. One of the most comprehensive

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Startling Differences Between Men and Women

Startling Differences Between Men and Women There are startling differences between men and women. There was a study conducted at the Behavioral Health Science Department at the University of California,

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The Story of Dr. John Gottman and Science-Based Couples Therapy

The Science of Data and Predictable Patterns in Couples Therapy In an earlier post, I described the dubious dawn of couples therapy before John Gottman and science-based couples therapy. In this post,

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A Modest Proposal on Valentine’s Day

“Let Valentine’s Day be the beginning of you showing love in a new way, don’t let it be a one-day thing,”                                                                                                                              

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Marital Fight Autopsy…EFT Model

Emotionally-Focused Therapy and the Marital Fight Autopsy When it comes to marital fight dissection, evidence-based Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is by far the most relational model. At the risk of

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